1900-01-20 0000 Kenapa ya kita punya waktu yang tdk tepat.. I mean kenapa dia sllu memberikan hal yang aku pengen disaat aku punya mas Hmmm... Berarti harUs apa?

Eyangki This #poem was written just for my One and Only Eyangki... He's the rock of my #life. I love you so much. sometimes I feel all alone, Because Allah sent you home. We used to be so close, But I miss him the most. But now it's as youre not even here. And the memories we have will never fade away. I shed a tear every night, #life had it's ups and downs, But you turned #life all around. Cancer ate him alive as he tried to survive... I know someday we all have to die, Now you are a beautiful angel up in the sky. I know you're in a better place, But I can't wait till I can see your face. I know you're watching over me and guiding me in everything I do... The prayers you prayed, and the things you did, I just want to say thank you and I love you eyang...

I Am Growing, Mam! I'm leaving now to slay the foe, Fight the battles, high and low. I'm leaving, Mother, hear me go! Please wish me luck today. I've grown my wings, I want to fly, Seize my victories where they lie. I'm going, Mom, but please don't cry, Just let me find my way. I want to see and touch and hear, Though there are dangers, there are fears. I'll smile my smiles and dry my tears, Please let me speak my say. I'm off to find my world, my dreams, Carve my niche, sew my seams, Remember, as I sail my streams. I'll love you, all the way, Mam!

If I Knew. . . You know how you always hear people say, "If I knew then what I know now...?" -Have you ever wanted to say...yaaa...well...go on... -I would listen more carefully to what my heart says. -I would enjoy more...worry less. -I would know that school would end soon enough... and work would... -I wouldn't worry so much about what other people thinking.. Well, never mind.... I would play more, fret less. Hhh this is unfair. I know #life's never unfair but in reality Do you ever feel what i feel ??? This is HURT AND LOT OF CONS*********! -I would appreciate all my vitality and tight skin. -I would play more, fret less. -I would know that my beauty/handsomeness is in my love of #life. -I would know how much my parents love me and I would believe that they're doing the best they can do for me. -I would enjoy the feeling of "being in Love" and not worry so much about how it works out. -I would know that it probably won't...but that something better will come along. -I wouldn't be afraid of acting like a kid. -I would be braver. -I would look for the good qualities in everyone and enjoy them for those. -I would not hang out with people just because they're "popular." -I would take dance lessons. -I would enjoy my body just the way it is. -I would trust my bestfriends. -I would be a trustworthy girlfriend. -I would enjoy kissing. Really enjoy it. -I would be more appreciative and grateful, for sure.

Please Hear For What I'm Not Saying Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear. For I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me. Pretending is an art that's second nature to me, but don't be fooled. I give you the impression that I'm secure, that confidence in my name and coolness is my game, that the water's calm and I'm in command, and that I need one. But don't believe me. My surface my seem smooth but my surface is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing. Beneath lies no complacence. Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness. But I hide this, I don't wnat anybody to know it. I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed. That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from a glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation. My only hope, and I know it. That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love. It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers I so painstakingly erect. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I'm really worth something. I don't like to hide. I don't like to play superficial phony games. I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me, but you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand even when that's the last thing I seem to want. Only you can wipe away from my eyes the bland stare of the breathing dead. Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings! With your pwer to touch me into feeling you can breathe #life into me. I want you to know that. Who am I, you may wonder. I am someone you know very well. For I am every man you meet, and I am every woman you meet.