My Words & Music 4 ENGLAND I left my home just to be with you Without a doubt I believed I took my chances as soon as you excited a hope of a better #life. I planted myself where you are Holding on to the hope that you've given me And true, 'coz one by one you laid good things Just everything good at my doorstep. You gave me a new adventure Showed me there's more beyond my home You took me to splendid places Like those I only read in pages. My road now leads to a new direction I shine like I've never shone before Thanks for opening the door I owe you much Of that I'm undoubtedly sure. I tried to stay away And see if there's one better than you But I only find myself wanting to come back Coz there's no place like you. I don't wanna turn my back again, no I just wanna stay right here beside you I don't wanna leave, no more No, I don't wanna leave, no more I don't wanna leave 'Coz England I'm in love with you.

My Words & Music 3 A SUMMER LUCK Their story started one fine summer night When he bumped into her on that far-famed dating site He said 'hello', she said 'hello' Then the story goes... Things went well a few days by Him calling her and her there waiting all the time Conversations don't seem to last From #life to music to heartache to love... Then one day his end became as quiet as a breeze She began to worry where it all went wrong She knew it's wasted moments waiting by the phone But giving up on him was not a choice, oh not at all... She took the courage when finally he called To tell him all she felt before again he turns cold 'It's now or never' was what she mused And he just listened heedingly to every word... Though it was for her a very uneasy task His words of understanding were a comforting rub And on a sudden her heart leaped with glee When she heard him say he felt the same way too... So their story started one fine summer night When he bumped into her on that far-famed dating site He said 'hello', she said 'hello' Still the story goes... No one knows when this affair would end What matters is the now The chance they were allowed To find each other on that summer night. Two hearts were lucky one fine summer night.  19 July 2011 Hameau du Roux, France

My First Born Girl Was trying to reach my daughter Ysabel Paul through skype when I started to worry she's not getting back to my messages when in fact her status says she's online and the time in the Philippines tells she should have been back from school 3 hours ago. After 4 hours and 30 minutes I finally got a message from her account but it was my cousin telling me she's still at school. What in the world is a 9 year old 3rd grade girl doing in school at 10 o'clock in the evening! When she finally informed me Ysabel has arrived, I thought she'd take over and talk to me. But to my surprise, coz it was the first time she ignored me like that, went straight to her room saying she can't speak to me at the moment coz she's so so tired from practice. I just suddenly felt like I've lost my first born to some very grown up teenage girl making excuses to mama to avoid confrontations about getting home so late! Well, on the bright side I'm glad she's serious in her singing. She actually came from practice for her repertoire for a wedding engagement early next month. And she has a High School variety show guest performance waiting a few days from now. Don't know if she has any idea she's facing another whole day rehearsal this Sunday. How could I tell her...she's just signed out! Oh poor mama..

Anniversaire de Mariage Phew! It was I thought impossible to have my plan carried out as it was really sort of a whirlwind decision. 24 April 2012 around 2030 hours PH time, I was on Skype with hubby discussing about the next day's feast day celebration of our place's patron saint San Vicente Ferrer. Incidentally, it's gonna be our 5th religious (church) wedding anniversary as well. As soon as he excused himself to gear up for the following day a thought just suddenly came along: I SHOULD HAVE SOMETHING FOR HIM but that would only be possible with the help of an Accessory to the Crime (AC). Well days earlier hubby and I agreed I buy him something Swiss made (one of his passions) as an anniversary present. So I didn't plan for any surprises or gifts whatsoever. I then secretly sent for my cousin to be my AC and asked her to carry out the plan the next day which is a total rush as she is also working that day. But it worked so perfectly! Everything just fell into place. The time my AC arrived at our house in the middle of the celebration bringing 5 paper bags (the girls' presents for papa and 1 from me) and a bouquet of balloons, was also when I circumstantially called up to check the progress of the plan. So the girls gave papa their gifts, my AC gave my gift and her phone as I was on the line. Only then was I able to let go of a breath of relief. Done! See what long distance celebration can do!

Affliction Of A Wife and Mother I left home for the fourth time on February 7, 2012 after spending a 2-month holiday with my husband Kobe and our 4 girls, Ysabel Paul, Yleiza Therese, Ymealle Aleesha and Ylleine Vivienne ages 9, 5, 4 and 3 at my parents' house. As soon as my husband and I together with a friend arrived at the Airport I faltered and felt butterflies in my tummy that sent me crying saying to my husband: "Please don't let me go. I don't want to leave anymore". But we both knew I needed to so I helplessly took my suitcases with me and checked-in which after I did, went to the exit taking my hand-carry luggage and rushed out straight to the waiting area not bothered about the time which gave me barely 5 minutes till boarding schedule just to kiss and hug my husband goodbye again. Tears were running down my cheeks from when I entered the airport again until I was seated in the plane. He painfully watched the aircraft with a heart crushed as it took off while I cried incessantly, defeated by the need to go. It was a very long and agonizing journey as I'm bound for Europe where I work for an English diplomat. During the flight I couldn't stop thinking about my family. If I dose off all I dream of are the girls and my Hubby. I lost the appetite to eat as well that I refused the airline meals. I survived the entire flight with water, coffee and tea one after the other. I reached Switzerland in an extremely freezing weather of minus 10 degrees centigrade bringing me right there and then winter blues which mercilessly added insult to my injury. It was nonsense as it is impossible but I wished for the snow which covered every roof of every house I saw and everything around to cover me as well and make me numb to ever feel the pain of having to leave my #life - MY FAMILY. It was too impossible to get myself to sleep on the night I was back. Apart from jetlag, I was crazily suffering from homesickness - the worst enemy I believe of people going abroad without their families. I was awake from half past 12 midnight on. Same thing happened the second night. Today, February 10, 2012 I was fumbling through my suitcase which hasn't been touched since I arrived when I found 3 unfamiliar things as they aren't mine: 1. a small blue rosary 2. a yellow-colored smiley eraser 3. a note saying: "mama I will miss you ingat diha I love you I miss you we love you we will miss you from Ysabel, Dagz, Winwin and CS". I didn't know how to react. But I thought I felt anger. Anger because it hurts! It's Ysabel's and I literally felt her pain too from being left behind. Anger because it filled up that chamber in my heart for keeping my pain in and made me want to scream and cry! I quickly got my phone, navigated to the notepad to write something about what she'd done when a page appeared, caught me completely off-guard and gave me a real painful blow when I read: "Mama I love you i miss you Ingat ka diha@" This time I was sure I was feeling guilty! Guilty for letting her undergo this kind of pain! My mother worked away from home when I was young and is back home only on weekends. But the pain of not being with her over the weeks sent me crying almost every night. How intense is Ysabel's pain then seeing me only for a month twice in a year! Awful lot of pain! I can no longer allow our pain to go on. My husband feels incomplete, I do too! I'm going home for good before I ruin my children's emotional stability and live my #life in regrets. And besides, there's no other place better than home.