How Old Am I? A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends4,000 grand and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand, buys a paper and says to the sales clerk"I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 34"was the reply. "I'm actually 46" said the man happily. About a while later he went for lunch at McDonald's and he asked the order taker the same question,to which the reply is,"I'm guessing your about 30?" "nope, I'm actually 46"He's starting to feel really good About himself. While standing at a bus stop he asks a old women the same question. She replies" I am 85 years old and my eyesight is poor. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your pants and played with your penis for 10 minutes I will be able to tell your exact age" As there was no one else around the man thought what the hell and let her hand slip down his pants. Ten minutes later the lady says" ok, it's done. I know your 46". Stunned, the man says" That was brilliant, how did you do that!" The old lady replies" I was behind you at McDonald's"