Why am I lying in my makeshift bed, eating the junk food left over from my Friday night sleep over? Well, I am much too lazy to get up, I'm hungry with no actual food in the house, and, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I've simply already gotten myself into a slum over Ty's departure. This time Tuesday I'll be on my way to school and he'll be where? Toronto? Miami? Still flying through the sky to a paradise and well earned vacation? I hate being alone. It just doesn't sit right with me. Besides, I get up when Ty gets up. I lie in bed and play with my iPhone until I get a "good morning beautiful". So pathetic. People will tell me I shouldn't be so attached or dependent on a boy. But he's not just a boy. No one's loved me like this voluntarily before. I'm not one of those girls who are simple and ditzy and naive. I know I'm not. It's springtime, and love is in the air. It's emanation flows through my house, my living room. My substitute bed impregnated with it's redolence, the smell of Ty on my pillows. How can I sleep when there is evidence of him wherever I look, yet he's not here with me? Like empty footsteps. I'm thinking of staying at my friend Dianna's after Ty leaves and before my mum gets back from her two month peregrination to England without me. However, as much as I appreciate my friend's hospitality, I'm not sure I could leave this place. Although there are endless reminders of Ty everywhere, I feel like maybe I could use them to kind of relive our time together in this place while he is gone. It'd be easier to pretend that he would be walking through the door any minute with open arms. Or would that just be personal torture? How can one miss a single person so much? How will I handle so much separation anxiety? It's too much to handle. Will this still happen when our love grows old? I think so. I hope so. It's too passionate a feeling to miss out on, as well as the overwhelming warmth of happiness which follows his return. Sigh. At least it promotes imaginative growth and is stimulating an outpouring of ideas.
