A Little Secret Every time I think I'm getting better I fall back into it. I don’t just fall, I dive deeper with a thirst stronger than ever before. It's more powerful, it consumes my wellbeing. For those of you new to this Ill let you know a little secret. It's food. — We live in a society where women and food do not mix. We are chastised and torn to pieces by our fellow friends, strangers and just about anyone else. We strive for the day that we can wake up and look into that mirror with our ideal bodies. We strive to see our bones through our skin. You can deny this all you want but if you and food don’t mix this is your ultimate goal. We count calories and punish ourselves for being who we are. We have panic attacks and develop eating disorders. Yet not a single one of us is willing to talk about it. To tell a friend that we are struggling. That I am struggling. This is one of many battles fought by my poor body every day I exist. Why do I strive to become nothing? Why do I believe the lies being fed into my brain? When I stand here and look at myself in the mirror I begin to lose sight of who I am. What am I turning into?