The Unfriendly Skies... On the United Air Flight, the pilot came on the public address system, and announced "We're about to hit some turbulence, and we haven't even left the ground!" With that, security personnel wrestled a 69-year-old physician from his seat on the overbooked flight, and dragged him bodily down the aisle. "I suppose that a pillow, a magazine, and a bag of peanuts are out of the question?," remarked the man. "Dang!," remarked another passenger to her companion. "They really have cut back on the amenities in economy class!" "Welcome to Trump's America, bitch!," the company CEO was heard to remark. When the company's value then dropped by 800 million dollars, he was later all smiles and apologies. "Whoa, my bad!," the CEO announced contritely. "In compensation, it's frequent flyer miles and bags of stale peanuts for everyone!" Meanwhile in his exclusive Mar-A-Lago resort, Donald Trump was tweeting furiously. "Gotta hire those security guys for my own detail," he posted. (Now, for a limited time enjoy your United Airlines flight...with scorpions!)