The Inferno Do not try to comfort me Please Do not offer me condolences Do not ask what is wrong Do not say that you are sorry In fact do not speak Do not approach me Don't even look me in the eye if you can help it Above all do not touch me For I have a fire that burns in my chest It burns so hot I can feel my blood bubbling The flames lick the back of my throat I swallow them back and clench my jaw tight I fear if I open my mouth the inferno will escape And I don't want anyone else to get scorched So when asked if I'm ok I briskly shake my head yes and flash a half-convincing-closed-mouth-smile to let them know that I am not to be fucked with at the moment because I clearly have my shit together Usually they back off after that But sometimes it takes a little bit more Sometimes it takes Eyes closed Hard swallow Deep breath "I'm fine" "Don't worry about me" "Leave me alone" I have a fire raging inside Do not stand too close I warn them You do not want to get burned The only comfort I find is alone Is at the bottom of a bottle Alcohol is flammable and fuels the flame I breathe in Feed it oxygen Make it burn so hot that I can feel my stomach acid boiling Rising to become smoke in my lungs I let the smoke spill out my mouth and drift upward I let it hurt I let it burn I let it cremate me while I'm still living Because it makes me feel alive Because I know what choice I have to make If I let the tears fall If I let rain extinguish If I hold my breath and deprive the flames of oxygen Then I'd be choosing to let the cold back in My body would shiver at first but eventually resign itself to numbness To nothingness Frozen emptiness My fingers and toes would begin to turn blue Pretty soon my lips would too Until the ice made its way to my heart Until it Slows...slows.........slows............then stops No The fire scorches my skin but it cauterizes my wounds It may leave me coals and ash but at least I'll glow bright It may burn me but at least it keeps me warm Do not try to comfort me Do not try to put me out I've learned to inhale pain and exhale smoke I do not fear Hell Because I've learned how to carry it inside of me