Ignore Me. This Is Triggering And I Just Need To Rant. Please, for the love of god, if you're easily triggered, do not read this. It's only a vent anyway. It doesn't even matter. ... --- ... I don't know how I'm feeling right now. I just know that I'm so glad I don't feel tired right now because I do not under any circumstances want to sleep tonight. I'm terrified I won't wake up. I feel sick and I just want to die. The sad thing is that I feel like nobody would care. Like if I went downstairs, grabbed a knife and sliced my wrists vertically, I wouldn't care and nobody else would. They'd just come downstairs, clean the blood up, call the police and carry on as normal. I cut myself real bad earlier. I bought this math set from Wilko this weekend for my exams and it turns out the sharpener blade is really sharp. Sharp as in I've never cut this deep before. It bled a lot and I was so scared, but I feel like I'll probably do it again soon. I was clean self harm for a long time before today, but I have a feeling this old habit's coming back to haunt me. It's the most efficient stress reliever I've found and that's so wrong, but with exams just around the corner, I don't know what else to do. Tl;dr, I want to die -- or at least I wouldn't mind if I did -- I don't want to sleep and I'm an idiot for doing this to myself. And if you actually read all that, then thank you for caring. I appreciate it.