He's Gone 1 -------- This is it. He's gone. I won't see that crooked smile. The one that can brighten up your entire day. The one that did for me. I miss that smile. I remember, I remembered that I asked him to wait for me. I want to see him so badly. This morning, like every other day, I get up. My feet on the cold, glossy, wooden floor, reflected by the sun. I slip on some socks and drag Philip with me. Philip, he's always been here with me, always by my side. I think I can consider him as one my best friends right? The one that kept me alive. I drag my #life giving friend with me, all the way to the kitchen. On days like these, when the everyone is still sleeping, the sun is peaking out, I think. A few steps into the grass and i pause. I look up into the dreamy morning sky. "My thoughts are stars i can't fathom into constellations", I recite. That's right. I go outside and sit on the empty plot in my backyard. I shared this spot with Issac and …. him. No… No… stop… stop this right now. Every time i think into my happiest thoughts, it's with him. Why am I even afraid to say his name, I'm thinking about it right now. Augustus Waters. I miss Augustus Waters. There, I've admitted it. Oh yeah, that's right, when i think of his name, i miss him so much, it's excruciating to even think about. We made a promise that we'd wait for each other but I can't wait. There is going to be no more waiting. I get up, Off the moist grass. It leaves a stain on my pants, great. Step by step, one foot after the other. I walk into my house, "Hey, I was looking for you." I stay silent. I've been like that since… since my tragedy. "Your father and I will be out for a couple of hours alright, we've got to pick up a couple of things or this house will fall to pieces." She starts chuckling. Why is she even smiling, that's not funny whatsoever. I turn my head and pull Philip with me. "It's just me and you now huh, Philip." I keep that to a low whisper, the last thing I need is for anyone to start a conversation. The door closes. That's the last time i'll hear that ugly wooden door close. This is the last time I'll be sitting on this couch. Is this really what I want. Everything could end right now, all my pain. But what about mom and dad, what will they do. They did everything to keep me with them, breathing… and alive. Philip, what do i do. I'm sorry. I take each and every step into my room as a chance to back out. I tell myself, "you know you don't have to do this." I blink. "Yeah… i know." "This is for you, for you Gus. Okay?… Okay?… please answer me, i just want to talk to you or know that you hear me." I start tearing up. I probably look like a teenage girl that's talking, or more like sobbing to a wall. Gus, this is for you. My unstable hands reach up to my face. I tell myself, don't be afraid. Be brave. I unplug my tubes.