Chapter 3: My Power When I got back to the Dark mansion I stopped to catch my breath. I didn't think Jamie suspected me of anything - other than being an unusually gifted fighter, I'm pretty sure I passed as an ordinary girl. Looking up at the mansion, I wondered how many people were in the Dark and - I thought with a shudder - how many had been killed by Jamie. How many lives had been ended because of him? I knew that I was going to be the death of several billion people, but... that was never my choice. Jamie had killed a man - and he didn't even look upset about it. I had always thought that the Light were good... But after what I had just seen - maybe not. I knew, of course, that I should have reported everything I had found to the Dark master, but he would probably have taken me out of the school and moved me to a safer location if he knew that the Light were looking for me - and looking pretty hard, I guessed, because Jamie had hinted that it was the entire organisation on the hunt for me, not just himself. Also, Jamie would probably suspect something if I had only attended the new school for a day. Weighing the odds, I decided it was better to bite my tongue for the moment, but tell if anything else happened. Entering through the main door of the mansion, I saw the same hooded figure I had talked to this morning - the Dark master. He didn't seem to be waiting for me, so I ran up the stairs as silently as I could, trying not to disturb him. First, I went to the weapons room and unbuckled the sheaths on the outside of my thighs and the ones that had been covered by my elbow length, fingerless leather gloves. Then, I took the throwing knives out of the leather sheaths that were sewn into the skirt. Last of all, I took the gun out. I hung the weapons up on the wall and left the room, heading towards my own. I sat down on the bed and thought about my day. It had gone well, I suppose, but all I wanted to do was return to my real self, free of the goth facade. One by one, I removed my chains and my chokers, took down my hair and washed the makeup off my face. I removed my blouse first and then my skirt. I stood in front of the mirror, in just my underwear. I could see the scars that lined my body - white, pink and red stripes decorating my legs, my arms, my waist. If anyone saw me now - I looked so helpless. The clothes, the attitude - they hid the thin figure, the ladder of ribs and the protruding hip bones of the girl in the mirror. Turning away from the stranger that was reflected to me, I walked to my bathroom and took a shower, slowly washing the staleness away. Standing under the hot water, I thought about the mirror. Maybe that was who I truly was, underneath the makeup and the attitude. A small, helpless girl who didn't have a clue what she was doing. Scared, frightened of the terrible things she had seen in her #life, of what she was capable of doing. I found myself thinking about Jamie again - he was the complete opposite. He wasn't appalled at what he had done, and he seemed happy enough - not that I could judge, , after all, I had only known him for a day. But there was a certain confidence with the way he walked, like wasn't scared of anything in the world, like there was nothing he couldn't face. I realised I was jealous - I wished I could be like that, wished I could have that confidence - for real, not just thrown up as a shield to keep others away. I wish my attitude was real - that I wasn't so helpless. Even though I was black belt in over 10 different martial art forms, at heart I was a slight girl with Dark magic and a horrible fate. ******************************************************************************************** The next morning, after I had done my first training session of the day and gotten changed into an outfit the same style as yesterday's, I headed out the door to the school. When I got there, I tried to avoid Jamie. I didn't want to see him, not after what he'd done. I took as long as I could to get to my first class without being late - I didn't want to wait outside the door and risk him talking me. However, when classes started, I discovered that were hadn't been much point in avoiding him - because he hadn't turned up for school. I breathed a sigh of relief, and tried to concentrate on my work. Throughout the day, I found that I just could not pay attention to the teachers. I kept thinking that he, meaning Jamie, would just appear from around the corner. Eventually, I just ditched my last few classes, desperately hoping that the teachers wouldn't notice my absence - it wasn't as if they had paid much attention to me yesterday - I had always been the type of person who blended into the background. When I had left the school grounds, I walked up the steep path that led to the forest. Seeing a fallen tree, I covered part of the trunk with my jacket and sat down, placing my head in my hands. Jesus, I just couldn't do it any more. I was sick of being told exactly what I was going to do, tired of having to train every morning for something I didn't want to do. I felt rage bubble up inside of me like an inferno, rage at having no choice, rage at my mother and my sister for leaving me to fight this on my own. I felt the magic I had never used before at my fingertips and, not realising what I was doing, I threw the power at the tree in front of me. It formed as a trail of shadows - deadly sharp shadows. They cut through the trunk like it was butter, softer even. Like it was water. The tree started to topple, but I didn't move. I let my instincts take over, and a shield of red appeared over me. I started laughing. This was what it was like to use my powers. After years of being told to store it all, instead I just let it go. I could feel the magic coursing through my veins, and it made me feel alive. I knew, that if I wanted to, I could cut the world in half. That thought - that I could even think of ending the world - that cut me short. My knees buckled, and I fell to the ground. I could feel tears trickling down my face - I was sick, twisted and horrible. I couldn't believe that I had even considered using my power like that, and it just made me cry harder. My fate had always seemed so far away, and now it felt like it was reaching out to touch me. After what seemed like hours, but was probably only minutes, I heard a familiar voice. "Alicia. Hey, Alicia," a hand shook my shoulder,"what's wrong?" I flinched away from the touch. Looking up through my tears, I saw Jamie standing over me. "Don't t-touch m-me," I said harshly, even though I was still trying not to trip up over my tears. An expression of hurt flashed across his face, but he grabbed my unwilling hand and pulled me up off the ground. I turned to run, but I couldn't balance properly and he caught me, pinning me against a tree. I fought uselessly, but he slapped my hands away and pressed me harder to the tree. When I gave up struggling, he loosened his hold and said in a soft voice, "Alicia, it's okay. I wouldn't hurt you. Just please, tell me what's wrong." Before I realised what I was saying, I whispered, "I-I don't want to b-be like you." "What? What do you mean? Alicia, come on, I won't hurt you." "I d-don't want to h-hurt anybody," I stuttered. Why was I telling him this? I couldn't let him know that I was the girl he was looking for, that I was one of the Dark. "Alicia, I really don't know what you're talking about," he said. But then he looked around, and his eyes landed on the tree that had been cleanly cut in two, unnaturally straight. "Oh.... Oh no... You can't be...her. Oh shit, I have to do something." It was the first time I had ever seen him lost for words. He let go of me, and slumped to the ground, eyes closed. I should've seized the opportunity to run, but I didn't move. I couldn't. ***Jamie's P.O.V.*** It all made so much sense now. Why she never tried to fit in. How she almost beat me in a fight. And when that knife fell out of her skirt when she flipped over me, I can't believe I didn't question it. I just hid it in the sheath I had in my sleeve. God, it was so obvious, but I still didn't realise. I have to kill her, I thought suddenly, she's going to destroy the world. But when I tried to move my body, I couldn't. She seems so innocent, so scared. She really doesn't know what she's doing, I thought to myself. She basically told me what she was. She didn't hide it. Opening my eyes, I realised she was still standing there, when she could've killed me and ran. "I'm so sorry. Really. But I can't help what I am. I can't control my fate. I'm going to kill the world, and I don't want to, but I can't do anything else. I'm the girl in the mirror, but I'm still going to kill every last thing on this planet. Except me. Because, in case you didn't know, I can't die. And I found that out the hard way. My sister had it easy. She killed herself. But no matter how many times I try, I just can't. I can't die. And you don't know how much I wish I could," she said, trying to sound brave, but there were tears rolling down her cheeks. And then she walked away. I could almost taste her desperation in the air. "Wait! Wait!," I called out, but she didn't turn. "My #life couldn't get any worse than it already is, so why couldn't you just leave me alone? It'd make it easier, without you turning up and confusing me even more. So please. Please, just leave me alone," her face was pained as she said this, and every word, every syllable was like a knife in my side. "Alicia? What... What if I said I could teach you Light magic? It wouldn't change the future but... You could be Light, not Dark. We're all born with the two types, it's just that in you, the Dark is more powerful. It's been attempted before, and the person died - but you can't die, so it might just work. We can try, right?" She smiled, the first time I had ever seen her genuinely smile. It was heartwarming, transforming her face. I realised, for the first time, that she was actually beautiful. "You'd really do that for me?" "Sure," I replied,"My boss told me to find a Dark girl and bring her back - but if this works, you'll be Light, so I won't even be breaking my orders." I gave her a little smile in return. "Spose not," she said, nervously shooting me the smallest of smiles. "So, tomorrow, same time, same place? The teachers won't even notice we're gone - mortal minds automatically reject the magic, so they won't notice we're gone." "Sure," she said, and turned back around, "I'd better go now, the Dark master will suspect something if I don't get back soon." I sat down on the ground and watched her slight figure get lost behind the trees, until she completely disappeared into the distance.