Funny Honey (from Chicago) (the officer sits down to interrogate Amos as Fred caseley lays dead on the floor) Amos: we have the right to protect our possessions and loved ones right? Officer: sure... Amos: it's a good thing I came home on time I came home from the garage and there she is(points to Roxie) sleepin like an angel... I always said she was a deep sleeper... I mean it wasn't until the first shot that she opened her eyes... Officer: is that true mrs. Hart? Amos: OF COURSE IT IS!!!!!my Roxie she wouldn't hurt a worm!! I think about what would have happened if I had gone out for a drink with my buddies I shudder to think of it! (piano and stringed instruments start to play the spotlight focuses on Roxie sitting on the piano) Piano player: for her first number miss Roxie Hart will be singing a song of love and devotion to her husband Amos... Roxie: sometimes I'm right sometimes I'm wrong... But he doesn't care he strings along he loves me so this funny honey of mine...sometimes I'm down sometimes I'm up...but he follows 'round like some droopy eyed pup he loves me so this funny honey of mine... He ain't no sheik!and has no great physique and lord knows he ain't got the smarts!!but look at that soul I'll tell you that whole is a whole lot greater than the sum of his parts And if you knew him like me...I know you'd agree... What if the world slandered my name?!he'd be right there takin the blame...he loves me so...and it all suits me fine...that funny sunny honey hubby of mine! Amos: just suppose just suppose he had violated her or something you know what I mean violated?? Officer:I know what you mean Amos: it was a good thing I came home from work on time I'll tell ya that... Roxie: he loves me so...that funny honey of mine Officer: name of deceased Fred caseley (Amos has a confused look on his face) Amos:Fred caseley?! How could he be a burglar my wife knows him he sold us our furniture(it all starts to come together)he sold it to her 10% off...(Roxie has a horrified look on her face) Roxie:and lord knows he ain't got the smarts! Amos(to Roxie): you told me he was a burglar! Officer: you mean he was dead when you got home?! Amos: she was coverin him up with a sheet and sayin how I should tell them I did it cuz I was sure to get off!! "help me Amos!"she said "it's my goddamn hour of need"(she explodes in anger as he keeps blabbering on) Roxie: well he shut off his trap...I CAN'T STAND THAT SAP!!! LOOK AT HIM GO!!!RATTIN ON ME!!!WITH JUST ONE MORE BRAIN WHAT A HALF WIT HE'D BE!!!IF THEY STRING ME UP...WELL I'LL KNOW WHO BROUGHT THE TWINE!!!THAT SCUMMY CRUMMY DUMMY HUBBY OF MINE!!!!!!!!