Hope I tend to see my faults in myself more and more these days. I don't know what has caused it, but my eye for fault has become keen in searching for error. In myself and in others. And it doesn't make me sad. It doesn't cause me to loathe myself that little bit more every waking moment. It just makes me angry. It makes every breath I take ragged and shake. It takes my sleep from me and I toss and turn. I become violent and I hate. Does it make me a perfectionist? Ironic when I am so far from perfection myself. But we're human, and everyone fucks up. So why do these ones fuel the turmoil in my gut that makes me spit and stutter? Why am I so tired? I just don't want to be angry at the people I love anymore. I don't want to be scared that I'll hate people who mean the world to me. I don't mean it. I know I don't. I hope I don't.