I always hear people talking about everyone theyve lost. Ive lost a lot of people mentally and even physically but only three people in my #life have actually died. The first were my great granparents. They were my best friends when i was little an i love them so much. They always played with me even though they were 90 something. I didnt think that was weird then but now i know that tjose stupid games were probably boring ad hell by themselves. But since i was there they had fun. I miss them so much. They died about four or five years ago. I dont really remember how long. I have so many fuzzy memories of them. Theyre those ones that you dont want to loose, the ones from your early early childhood. The ones that slip away but you hold on to peices of them and try to fill in the blanks. But then the memories become a lie and they just make you feel worse abojt it. The other person is my grandfather. I miss him too. I never met him. He died 17 years before i was born. I miss what could have been. I miss the possibillities of memories. It makes me sad to think about it. I never even met him but i love him. I disnt even know how he died until a few month ago. But i feel like i know him somehow. Not like when you hear stories about people. Ive never heard a single story about him. No one ever talks about him anymore. Im sure they used to but its been thirty years now. I feel like i should know him. Like he should still be alive, still here. But he isnt. His death doesnt make me sad. I dont have a reason to be sad. It just makes me feel like theres somethig missing. Like im incomplete.