Do You Love Me? Lieing is almost an art. It's therefore fitting that an artist becomes the master of it. #life is changing. We're at that cataclysmic point when the future is so uncertain, but one thing I was sure of was that we'd always be together. Why else would I propose? It was spontaneous. Exactly how he wanted. He didn't seem too sure. He explained that it was because he didn't think I was being serious. But now I feel like it's because he doesn't really want to. Nevertheless, he said yes. But why would I expect an artist to be honest after all? This 2 year relationship, in reality, has been a mess. I was accused of so much. Everything that someone could do wrong in a relationship. But now it is him that is the perpetrator. I'm just the victim, like I always have been. And why? Because of a lack of penetration which led to an entire lack of intimacy. His words: 'I'd go straight and sleep with a girl at this point, how desperate I'm getting.' Maybe I shouldn't have read that conversation he had with his ex online. It took me a while, reading through the 56,000+ words of it just spanning two months. He doesn't really like my family, I'm oblivious and selfish. At least they could have a laugh together over my expense. The worst part to read however was that 'he doesn't even know if he loves me anymore'. Such a great read. I don't know what to do, I'm not supposed to know this devastating information. Will things ever be the same? I'm leaving now to clear my head. He doesn't even love me anymore.
