Traffic Warden As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Wardens funeral, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!" The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters "Too fucking late pal, the paperworks already done"

Why is it that when you fall in love with someone you tend to think more about how long it's going to last rather than concentrate on how lucky you are that they love you back.

Love ladies & gentlemen, when you are lying in bed tonight with your partner lying next to you with her head on your chest listening to your heart beat while slowly drifting off to sleep, embrace her gently kiss her on the forehead and tell her, you are my world, my #life, my love, i will love you till the end of time with every breath i take, then while you drift off to sleep embrace her for as long as you can. then in the morning when you both wake, take her by the hand & look deep into her eyes & say ill love you with every fibre of my body & sole, then lean to her & kiss her gently. i garentee you will have a smile on your face for the rest of the day.& ladies while you where lying in bed with your head on his chest listening to his heart beat, just remember every beat was for you, tell each other i love you every day, not just because you have to, because you just want to, but it is great to hear it from the one you love. take care everyone, enjoy #life to the full. smile every day, be happy.