hungry squid hungry squid is a short story explaining the world of hungry squid iOS game: www.hungrysquidgame.com --------------------------------- When you’re completely alone for what seems like forever, the definition of time changes slightly. Wait, what? Don’t interrupt me! It took me a million years to make up this silly language the way you’re using it, just so you can understand my story. And feel sorry? Shut up! You shut up! No, you shut up, I’m telling a story here and interruptions are utterly unnecessary. Wait, what? Sorry, I’ve been talking to my other self here. When you’re alone for so long it’s the only real way to stay sane. Or is it? 
Well let’s get back to the story. If you want to know if there is a God, then you’re asking the wrong squid. Sure, someone DID create your universe, but I was already playing checkers with myself then. Really! It’s easy when you have six arms. Four will play and two will stroke our chin (or chins) when we’re thinking about our next move. So I got myself cornered with a nice one-two-three and suddenly thare was this “Bang”. What? The Big Bang? Well it wasn’t really THAT big. It was more like a used Chevette hitting a pile of cardboard boxes. What? Yeah the driver died, but the bang was quite little. Really. It wasn’t even an important event. But I digress. You probably want to know what’s up with me sitting on this long dead piece of rock that once was a planet and writing stories in a soon to be dead language. How soon? Well to be honest for me the term “soon” probably means something else than for you “people”. Did I say it right? “P E O P L E?”. What a strange way to call yourselves. Well I’m Avov. At least in a rough (very rough) translation to your funny lingo. Had to shorten it from my real name, cause it was taking 15 of your years to pronounce it correctly with all the twisty-and-turny parts that only my tongue can articulate. Let’s get back to the planet though. Sorry, after so many years I get sidetracked VERY easily. Ok, let’s start from the begining. You’re only one of the “people” things, so I’ll try and dumb it down for you a bit. A planet is the thing you’re currently walking on, and at the rate you’re having your fun there, it’ll probably be over in... say after 50 copies of your calendar. And when a planet dies - just like yours will soon - it cannot just float around in space, because it has a lot of remaining energy. Think of that energy as a sitting time bomb, just waiting to explode. Without you little “people” on the surface it’d become even more unstable and break a hole in the web of space. I hope you found out that space is a web, and each thread is just one “universe” or whatever you call it. So in order for the dead planet to stay on it’s right thread the keepers were created to keep the planet protected and firmly attached to it’s little string. It can move - of course - but more like a yo-yo toy your children often use. I wish I had one of those - or better yet - 6 of those so I can do tricks and win contests, and be admired. Ah, done it again. So we basically have to sit and keep it from idling out of control. That’s a job with no breaks, no pay and no co-workers. Well that last part is actually not that bad. My planet was called Trudea, and it had some kind of similar two legged, two armed specimen inhabiting it. I mean come on! How silly it is to have JUST two arms? What can you do with two arms? So Trudeans were trying their best to achieve some sort of greatness, but it didn’t quite work as planned. First they started destroying the atmosphere with toxic gasses. Then came the out of proportion digging operation to harvest all of the planet’s resources. Of course they didn’t know that they could either use the energy of their two suns, or the one from the core of their planet. Maybe if they did I wouldn’t be sitting here now telling you that story. Or maybe not. I got picked to guard one of the very first planets. Before that a big spider was slowly and patiently crafting the space web, so there wasn’t really a lot of things going on. But then Trudea and some other planets emerged from one thread in a slightly bigger bang than yours. At first we were just watching them grow, learn and expand. It wasn’t that bad for a few thousand years, but after that it got even more interesting. There was a lot of things wrong with the planet and how Trudeans were running it. But you might actually know the story from your own history, as non-squid beings tend to repeat their own mistakes. They had some world wars, some powerful people ruling the whole world, they even had deadly diseases for which the cures were known, but kept secret. Drunk with power they eventually led to some sort of catastrophy, but it only took 50 years and I actually was looking the other way for that one brief moment. Got distracted by a little boy sitting on a moon-like structure and growing flowers out of nothing. He got me so bored eventually that I turned back and there it was. Trudea. Dead and empty. I knew what had to be done. If only it was that easy. I had to EARN myself the honor (or so I though then) to be one of the keepers. And by earn I really mean DO things. To be a keeper you need to be both smart and focused, plus you need to use your telepathic skills to connect to a being from a different thread without him knowing. Using both of your powers you need so solve a series of 15 tests that will determine your fate. The smart ones - and I’m proud to be a part of that small group - will get their own planet. The dumber ones will just get dumped in an ocean. After years of living that way their mental powers deteriorate so much that they can only swim and eat. Well and reproduce every once in a while. I got a connection with someone - don’t know his name - and we went through the tests like a storm. So here I am now, after countless years, still guarding what’s left of Trudea. The Keepers have expanded the operation to other threads, because of that “earth” failure some million years ago. Your planet had some nice creatures living there. Something you would’ve called dragons now, but they actually called themselves the Primes. Yeah I know it sounds like a punkrock group name. They liked it. Then it happened. One of the keepers forgot to jump to the next thread and win himself a dying planet. A small one, but it did have some impact. But we all forgot. It took another 50 million years for it’s core to burst through the threads and hit your beloved earth. It actually annihilated most of the #life there and the dragons, or Primes, didn’t really come back after that. Someone up high was very mad. We weren’t supposed to interrupt the species in self-annihilation by doing it for them sooner. The Primes were already trying to build coal powerplants and destroy the atmosphere. But that little “restart” caused your planet to replenish what was destroyed and that led to you guys. There would be one of us Keepers on your planet now if not for that little incident a while back. But we can wait. We have all the time. And yours is nearly up. Not trying to scare you or anything. All species have a tendency to self annihilation, and it’s just your time soon. Sure you can recycle, rethink your ways and live in harmony. But that has NEVER happened while I’m alive. And I think I’ve always been here. Sure, go ahead - surprise me! It’d be something different for a change, but I wouldn’t bet my tentacle on it. Still I have to tell you something. I think you’re the best of all the others endangered species I’ve encountered so far. Sure you do awful, unthinkable things to each other and your planet. But that’s nothing out of the ordinary. Idiots are everywhere. Just ask my squid friends that failed the tests. Some of them even end up on your plates. Most just float mindlessly through your oceans smiling to themselves. But you do have some things that I like. Trudea is going to be re-taken and restored some time from now and I’d really love to sit on earth next. I’ve been watching you for a while now and the so-called modern times of your history are actually quite entertaining. I also see a lot of good here and there and that makes me happy. That positive energy doesn’t just vanish - it floats through space and brings smiles to the Keepers. The negative one flows out too, but that doesn’t give us frowns, it’s quite natural. The best thing you ever did was music. I mean we do sing sometimes too, but it lacked the structure and harmony that your ancestors invented. Too bad most of the popculture gravitated towards being plain stupid, but there are little diamonds that I’m personally looking after. It’s not easy since I can blink and they’re gone before I open my eyes again, but sometimes I manage to go through a whole career. I would’ve told you what “bands” I like and what I think is garbage music, but that wouldn’t change anything anyway. You might even know it already. Music. Yeah - love it. Keep doing it instead of watching blinking screens and you will be a lot more interesting. I also like stories, but those weren’t your invention. They even had stories on Trudea, but I forgot most of them. And even if I remembered, the references would probably be out of your minds reach anyway. But I think your stories have a potential. You can be pretty imaginative when raised the right way. Too bad only a few escape the blinking screen into being creative, or I’d be a lot less bored. But do go on - write! Share your thoughts and dreams because it IS interesting. See? Not everything is wrong with your kind. You’re still going “away” soon, but at least you’ll feel better knowing that I really like you. After the lights are shut and the planet deserted I’ll be going through your albums and books and making a personal favorites catalogue. That’ll take some time, but as I said - I have time. All I need is something to do with it or I will definitely go insane. And no - talking to myself is not being insane by my standards. Don’t even start. You’re in no position to call me insane while destroying the rock that keeps you from suffocating in space. But it’s your call. I’m just waiting. I can wait. Did I tell you I have a lot of time? Probably did. Don’t worry I’m not gonna preach to you to save your planet now, for the future “people”, bla bla blah. If you didn’t figure that out yet, then nothing is going to help you anyway. And my preaching may only anger you more. A fun fact out of a hat (If I had one. I wish I had a hat!) - did you know that what you call oil is actually pretty tasty? I’ve had some of that same substance on Trudea and it’s addictive! You have a similar drink on your planet - it’s also black and tasty. My cousins in your oceans didn’t like your latest little spill though. They adjusted to your planet and it was a horror to watch them die from all that oil. Seeing those evil people who caused it take no action made me so sad that I decided not to buy that used car I always wanted. Well that and the fact that there are absolutely no roads in space. So if you’re having too much trouble with your oil I can take it off your hands with pleasure. Just make a VERY long straw and I’ll drink it that way. Then you’ll have nothing to fight about, and suddenly no country will be making weapons of mass destruction. Funny right? I know. I’ve watched some of your comedy and I loved it. I even connected with one of those funny (yet extremely smart for a human) people. His name was William and I loved him dearly. While talking to me he was laying down on a grassy hill somewhere, with a little dent in his perception. We had a chat and I kinda spilled the beans on the planets fate. That gave him some wild ideas to fix things. Ahhh. Poor William. I’m gonna miss him. He was one of your heroes that I most admire. I also witnessed some nice eureka moments. Like that time they invented the telephone a hundred years before it was patented. But nobody has heard of it so some other guys had to invent it again. And then some other guys re-invented the phone in your 2007th year. I hope you’re reading my story on one of those shiny devices that I can actually use all my six tentacles on. Now that’s magic! Let’s play checkers sometime. I’m bored. There are probably more ways to kill time when you’re in my position, but if you have no imagination, then it’ll just be torture. As simple as that. If you’re stuck on a rock forever, drifting through “nothingness”, and all you can think of is stuff like “ah, this planet’s a bit uncomfortable” or “this is a dark part of the universe”, then you’re screwed. The worst part then is that you can’t die, because you have a job to do. And that simple, primitive feeling of being needed is what drives you to go on. Just one more day, year, millennium. My imagination’s so vivid I even gave it a name and it now has a #life of it’s own. But let’s not speak it’s name right now, cause it’s sleeping. That’s why I have some time to write you this thought-stream or as you earthlings call it a short story. Could’ve been longer, sure, but when you have forever to work on something, you realize that the best things are better kept brief. But we have plenty of fun me and it. We play imaginative checkers on a board in our minds to keep ourselves from being bored. We jump through hoops, or loops, or anything else we can think of, and we’re constantly laughing at those other keepers, who just sit there and gather space dust. Oh, no, no - not us! We’re here for some greater good. Even greater than being a keeper, but don’t squeal to the council on me for saying that. They’d shrink me again and I’d have to go through those tests one more time. And with my skills they’d probably give me the hardest fifteen possible. With lava stones all over the place. Oh, no, no! I had to learn it the hard way once, and I prefer the current state of affairs, thank you. But enough about me. Let’s talk about my imaginary friend here. He’s still sleeping, but we can whisper and get the facts right anyway. Right as rain - whatever that is. The best thing about my friend is that he’s different nearly every day. One day I want him to be a space racer - rushing between meteors towards the finish line, fame and glory! The other day he’s a simple gardener, tending to some Mars rock formations and mining them for goo. Did you like mars? What? You’ve never been? Then your civilization is not evolving fast enough, no sir! Even Trudeans went to Mars years before their annihilation. And you only have so little time... Whoops! Sorry, shouldn’t have told you that. Again! Don’t tell on me, come on! We’re pals, right? High five? I can give you six of these at a time. It’s almost like that gesture was invented for us instead of you. Imagine that - six high fives in the same second. My thoughts tend to drift away a little bit sometimes, you probably have that too, so I guess it’s not really a problem for you, right? So I can re-imagine my friend each day we play, and that makes the whole thing interesting for both of us. Of course he doesn’t know who he will be tomorrow. Or the day after that. It’s all up to me. Or chance. Or blind luck. Or all of the above. What a #life that must be! I envy him sometimes. Imagine constant excitement and no routine whatsoever. You’re always exploring. Making. Being. Living. It’s paradise I tell you. That’s why imaginary friends have it better. But I wonder if I can trick him into imagining me for a change. I’d like to be a Mars gardener too. There’s still plenty of space around that big city there. You know - the one that’s always on the other side from you, so you don’t know it exists. Yeah, did it again, but it’s a well known space fact, so they won’t hang me by a tentacle for that. I am here. Keeping the planet stable and living my #life. You’re over there, reading my message - probably with a little thousand years of lag - and it’s almost as if we’re communicating. Sure - it’s only one way - but I can easily predict what you want from #life, based on simple statistic. Love, happiness, riches, fame, power and food. Those needs drive almost all the species in the universe, and most of them eventually lead to us sitting on the planets you turned into dead pieces of rock. If you stripped down these needs to the basics of love, creativity and passion, you’d probably be selected to be a keeper too. But so far only squids are chosen for the job. And I bet it’ll stay that way. We never destroyed the planet. We’re just watching the remains of your foul play. Or some species similar to you. Bipedal viruses with shoes, lipsticks and credit cards. Thinking you’re so hip, while your planet is already a vintage item. Too bad that it’s not mint condition anymore and never will be. You see, those bad traits are not only your “thing” as humans. Sooner or later every planet ends up the same. It’s only a matter of time. And time we will always have.