Painful Love... I shall share the story of my past. This may be bad, but its not as bad as what others have been through. When growing up, I had a pretty good childhood. You know, the average childhood. I was always playing out with my friends after school, going to the park, living with my mum and dad. You know, it was great for a only child. We lived in a three bedroom flat, in quite an average area. We had a dog, a yorshire terrier called Tiny, and two tabby cats called Dibbs and Fluffy. As you can tell, yes I had named them at quite a young age. I was a happy young girl, who couldnt be happier with #life, I didnt have a care in the world. I had my mum and dad, and ofcourse our pets. #life was great! I loved my parents with all my heart! Jasmine aged 10: everything changed. The world suddenly hated me. Until this day (11 years later) I question why? I came home from school one day, and my mum was screaming at my dad. This was bad as ive never seen my mum get so angry. We were outside the flat, next to my dads car, and there was a box, which looked like a box which holds folders, it was empty, and my mum was holding it and flinging it around in the air. Her arms are flying everywhere. Her face was red. The whole street was looking at us. Me, confused "mum what is going on?" She ignored me. From all the arm waving, something had fallen out of the box... It was a really old mobile phone. This phone was off, well thats what i had thought... My mum had pressed a button for the screen to come on, and there was a name, a womans name. After mum seeing the name, she threw the phone in the box, then threw the box at my dad. She grabbed me harshly by my arm and took me indoors. Ive never been so confused. She then rushed up to her bedroom, and all i heard was banging of footsteps, smashing glass, punching walls and her screaming from the top of her lungs "WHY?". I looked at my dog with tears in my eyes and said "This is bad". I ran to my mum, trying to comfort her, but i didnt help. She was packing my dads clothes. Then it clicked, my dad is leaving. She was throwing his clothes in bin bags, and throwing them on the balcony. I didnt want my dad to leave, so i was throwing the bags back into the house. Dad was no where to be seen. A couple hours later, mum sat me down and explained everything. My dad had cheated on her with another woman. I cried and cried. All night. The next day, my dad still didnt return. It was a weekend. Mum took me to a place, where she was hoping to get "another job". But we left this place with a man. To his house... This man was the man my mum has been cheating on my dad with. He didnt look nice. (My mum was young by the way. 27years old) A year later: i saw my dad again! I spent the weekend with him, with this other woman, ofcourse i didnt like her. She wasnt my mum. From then on, i spent everyweekend with him. Not spending time with him, but working. At the age of 11. (This job that i was doing with him, is now my full time job). I dont remember the times if when the next events happened but i will try my best. I didnt accept my mums new boyfriend, he is like 26years older than her. (Age is nothing but a number) but, he done things very differently. He didnt treat me nicely. He was horrible. He was a man of cruel dicipline. If i didnt do things around the house correctly, i would get a bad punishment. The first punishment: i was at my friends house, who only lived on the groundfloor of the flat. We were playing. Until i got a phone call. I remember earlier that day, i had to tidy ,my room before i go, so i did. This phone call sounded like this "Jasmine, get upstairs now, he is coming for you" this wasnt my mum, but his ex wife... (Yes she was still with him, and my mum was with him too). So i rushed upstairs in a panick. "Mum what did i do wrong?" She ignored me. "Mum i didnt do anything wrong! What did i do?" Still nothing from her. I was crying like you wouldnt believe. Shaking uncontrollably with fear. Scared. Felt like death was near. Within a couple of minutes, he had arrived. I was sitting at the kitchen table. He had charged towards me, and hit me across the face, i landed against the cooker. (He was a big man, and i was a very skinny little girl). He then grabbed me harshly by my neck, and dragged my upstairs like i was a doll. Wimpering and scared i just carried on. Mum didnt do anything, his ex wife however tried to stop him, but she got hurt in the process. Once we had got to my room, he threw me on my bed, and hit me harder than the first time accross my face. And shouted "WHAT IS THAT ON THE FLOOR? I THOUGHT I SAID CLEAN YOUR ROOM?" I stayed quite, criying. He looked me in the eyes, grinding his teeth. He didnt even blink. I took a deep breath, and said quietly "my fluffly slippers" he then hit me again, and said "They shouldnt be there". I looked at him all confused, but i kept my mouth shut. And then he left. The ex wife ran into the room with tissues, my nose was bleeding, i had bruises everywhere. I didnt go to school until the bruises went down. These beatings happened often, if i didnt do things the way he wanted. I used to have to clean his house top to bottom with a tooth brush. Or by hand like cleaning the walls, the ceilings, the tiles in the floor. Instead of using a hoover which he did had, i had to use a dustpan and brush or just use a tooth brush and my hand. This went on for ages. He once hit me because i apparently tried to get inbetween his and my mums happiness. I would do no such thing! My mum was happy, and thats all that mattered. I tried commiting suicide on many occasions. I slit my wrists. Stabbed myself in the leg. Tried to hang myself with my scarf. Stood in the road to get run over. Even asked a heroin addict to kill me. But i didnt end up doing it because his ex wife always caught me. She kept a close eye on me. She was nice. Ive been hit by a leather belt, lampshades, dvd player, glasses of coke, a tv, and a stereo. These things were thrown at me. The bruises were awful. Instead of suicide, i turned to weed, burning myself with lighters, drinking alcohol and other self harming. The man would watch me in the shower. The man had an air rifle, he threatened to shoot me with it. I dont know why. This man also has three other children, they do not talk to him. Jasmine aged 13: i had enough. I had become extremely depressed, and stressed out. Stopped eating, lost a big amount of weight. Hated everyone, i wouldnt talk to no one, not even my dad. One day, after school, i had called my mum. Asking her, whose house am i going to. His or hers. And she told me that she will call me in an hour. So i was left sitting at the bus stop for three hours in the cold waiting for a call. It suddenly got dark. I didnt know what to do. A teacher saw me at the bus stop, amd told me to go home. So i got on a bus to the next train station, and thought ive had enough. I was going to jump infront of a train. I was crying. I loved my parents. But it was too painful to love them. I felt neglected. Unloved. They didnt care. Many occasions, i was left in the cold and the rain. I had to walk home in the snow from school because the buses wasnt running. Mum didnt pick me up. Anyway, i got to the train station, and when the train came i was ready to jump. As soon as i bent my knees, to plunge infront of the train. Someone grabbed me. This someone was someone who you never expect. This was my head teacher. He followed me. He knew i was up to something. And he saved me. When i look at it now, im very grateful. He grabbed me, then i looked at him, crying then ran away. By this time, my mum still hasnt called me back. Its been four hours. Still crying i called her. "Mum which house do you want me to go to?" She said his house. I replied "mum i will always love you" i threw my phone on the floor in the middle of the road. Yep, all smashed to bits. I smiled. I then ran away to my aunties house. I stayed there for three weeks. Until my grandma took me in. Ive been living here ever since. I love my nan! My mum had found out that i was staying with my auntie, and she went crazy. Kicking down the door, throwing plant pots, screaming and crying "give me my daughter" my auntie screamin "no, you are never getting her back". I never went back to live with my mum. Jasmine aged 21: ive accepted everyone now. My mums boyfriend is now someone who i can talk to. I accept him in my #life. We help eachother. My mum is now like my bestfriend. My sister. The relationship ive always longed to have. My dad, well he is funny, i love him! He has never done anything wrong. He is now married with the woman whose name was on the mobile. I have a sister who is 6 and a brother who is 1. I love them. But the main people who have helped me over come all this in my #life is my partner of 5years and my nan! On this journey, i have learned a lot. No matter how bad things may have been, you can always over come it. There are always people who will talk to you. Councellors, friends, other members of the family. Your never alone. I thought my #life was not worth living. But now im grateful. I have my own business, got my own car, i got my #life back. I didnt complete school, i was too sick. In and out of hospital. But i did go to college and done an apprenticeship. So thats how my #life was. -Dear readers, i dont want sympathy or anyone to feel bad. There are people who have it worse than i! We should just help those who need help now. Dont dwell on the past. Im nothing but a humble market trader in London See you x