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Brianne

Everyday may not be good but there is something good in everyday.

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  • Female
  • 01-01-70
  • Living in United Kingdom

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Brianne
Translate   11 years ago

How Broken Can You Be? I'm so broken. It has become so obvious. I'm emotionally destroyed and there's nothing to do except watch me fall apart. Each day it gets worse; nothing ever gets better. I'm so alone in this world that it's starting to really get to me. I always have to remind myself that it's my fault for people not liking me. It's all my fault. I'm ugly and fat. There's no one to blame but myself. It's so hard because no one knows the real me. No one knows what I have to deal with on a daily basis. No one knows anything about me. They know me as a bubbly, outgoing, happy girl but that's not even close to what I am. That's just an act. People always tell me to "get over it" but how could I get over something so cruel. I will NEVER get over all the lies, false promises and times I was left alone. I will never forget the pain. I will never forget the night when I was in so much pain that I had to grab a razor and glide it across my wrist just so I could get the pain that I deserved. I'll never forget the night I decided to make myself thin. I won't forget the day when I decided only a bowl of oatmeal was the right amount to eat a day. I'll never forget the day we buried my mother or the day my brother packed his things and left. I won't forget the nights I cried myself to sleep with no one to hold me and tell me that it was going to be okay. I won't forget the cuts on my body that I did because I was so sad. Don't tell me to "get over it" when you know nothing. Do you think I like being this sad? This sadness has consumed me and it's too late to save me from it.

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