One night, Jane was in her bed unable to sleep. She suddenly heard strange things from her sisters room:"I'm gonna eat you head off! I'm going to eat your leg off! I'm going to eat your body off..." etc. So she went to her sisters room, there was her sister, guzzling a packet of gummy bears.

Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is."Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?"Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.The next morning he reported to his father.Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Governmen is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit."

There was once 3 boys called Zip, Willie and Pee That were constantly getting into trouble at school. One day the teacher bawled : "Zip! Down! Willie! Out! Pee! At the headmaster! And so everyone(only the boys did exactly that...