Lonely Night Laying down, Tears stream, Heart aches, My silent screams. Thinking too much, It all boiling inside, I let it out, I lose my self, My shushed cries. The tears stream, Falling down; I sob, As the agony hurts me, My quiet tears fall. I'm all alone, Hurting and crying while I lie there, But the silence quiets it, Reminding me that no one cares. I feel so alone, I'm completely lost, For on this lonely night, No one is there to catch my fall.

Love's Heal Here a new story I'm starting I pull up onto the driveway, turning off the music in my headphones, and sigh at the sight of my family's new house. I moan as my parents hop out, acting as if nothing was wrong at this time of their #life. They smile as we walk up to the door, and we go in. I look around me, not very happily might I add, as I see the movers carrying on heavy boxes and parts of sofas and tables. I go back to my phone, checking Instagram, but my dad says I need to put it away so I can help move some things. I groan and he chooses to ignore it, and I know I'm not getting out of it. I grab a box that say 'Mandy's jackets and coats' and head up to my new room. I look around, it isn't bad actually, a little bigger than my old one. Ok- a lot. I sigh and go back down for another box. By the time we're done moving our things into the house, it's dark. My family and I go get McDonalds and then go home. As I lay in my bed, looking at all my things in boxes or scattered on the floor, I sigh and try and convince myself that it will be alright. Moving here will be a fresh start, I can be able to forget. Forget everything from where I used to live. Satisfied, I fall asleep. ------- The sun shines right through my window, since I didn't have curtains. I squint right when I open my eyes and yawn. I stretch out on the bed and hear a bustle of cars outside driving by and my parents downstairs cooking dinner. I go to my window, just curious to see my view, since I hadn't paid much attention yesterday. My window faces the side on my neighbors. I see a young boy, around 15 I guessed, letting his dog out in his back yard. I sigh and go downstairs. My parents had made breakfast, frozen pancakes they had bought at the grocery store, and I eat them slowly. I'm not very hungry, so I eat about 1 and a half and a small glass of milk. My parents sigh when they see how run down I look, but I ignore them and head for the stairs. My mom calls to me saying that I should empty some boxes and get dressed because we were going to go shopping later. I sigh a little, nod and head up the stairs. When I get to my room I grab the box that says 'Mandy's shirts and pants' and open it. It's pretty hard, the duct tape was strongly taped on the box. I almost break a nail, not that I care, and by the time I got it open, my fingers were red. I sigh and grab the first few pairs of shirts. I head to the closet and hang them. I do this for about 15 minutes, unpacking a bunch of boxes, until the only ones left were personal things, such as books and pictures, and things for my desk. I sigh and think i might as well unpack them. I open the box with personal things and pick up a few books and put it on my shelf. I put all my books there, and then I grab some pictures and put a few on my desk. Some I didn't want to put out, so I leave them in the box. I gasp when I grab one particular photo. I stare at it with such fury, I think I was going to break the glass on the frame. I stare at the smiling face, the clueless, love struck face, the girl I didn't know then. I had lost myself, I didn't even know what I had been doing. From the first time he had looked at me with those sparkling green eyes, to when he had walked away, I had been so delirious to the real world. I didn't realize what I had been doing was bad, wasnt good for me. At all. I close my eyes shut, firmly holding the picture, remembering the pain, the screams that came from my mouth, the laughs from him, and the injuries that would never leave me. I remember the cuts , the blood, the sobbing. But also the deep desire for him, which kept me from leaving. I felt my eyes get watery. I quickly open them, and throw the picture down. I wipe my eyes and breath deeply, trying to regain myself. I grab the frame, and rip the picture out of it. I tear it up and throw it in the trash can. I put the frame back in the box and empty the other one. ------ 'Look at this dress, isn't it cute?' My mom remarks and holds up a blue Cotten dress with purple flowers at the bottom. I shrug and she sighs and rolls her eyes. I smile a little and spot a shirt in the corner of the store. I run up to it and hold it up to me and look in the mirror. I gasp- it's perfect. It's a dark blue shirt with a tiger. I show my mom and she rolls her eyes. 'Fine' she says. She may not like having a quirky style, but I do, and she accepts that. After buying a few more things, we head home. As we pull into the driveway, i see our neighbor gardening; at the same house I had seen the boy. She waves and my mom waves back. We go inside and put the things we bought in our closets. Then I hear the doorbell ring. I stay where I am, not really sure I should go downstairs. I hear my dad answer the door, and my mom rushing over to greet them. I don't know who they are, I hear them say something like 'neighbors' and 'nice to meet you' stuff like that. I wait, I don't want to go down really, I don't know why. But then I hear my dad call me. I slowly walk down the stairs, and see them all in the entrance by the door. I smile a little when I see then, and notice they are the family with the boy letting the dog out and the woman gardening. There's also a man, obviously the dad. I introduce myself, and learn that the mom is named Jamie Aubren, the dad Tom Aubren, and the boy, who is actually 15, Alex Aubren. As they all talk, I quietly observe Alex. He's probably a couple inches taller than me, defiantly. He has long legs, he's very muscular, has a cool sense of style, deep dark brown eyes, and brown hair covering his forehead, and sweeping to the side a little. He looks at me, and smiles a bit. I breathe in deeply, smile back, and try and force my self to pay attention to the adults conversation. They invite us to their Halloween party in a few weeks, and they say they will defiantly think about it, since they will probably be settled by then. Then we say goodbye. I sigh and go up stairs. ------- few days later We ring the doorbell, and then a few seconds later, Mrs. Aubren answers. 'Welcome! Please come in, come in!' They had invited us over for dinner, and a little chat, just so we could get to know them better. We go into the living room, since Mr. Aubren wasn't finished with the chicken. After a couple minutes of chatting, Mrs. Aubren offers for me to go upstairs with Alex, who's in his room. I hesitate, not sure what to say, and my mom gives me a little nudge. I look at her and say 'Ok.' And awkwardly stand up. Mrs. Aubren leads me to Alex's room, knocks on the door, but there's no answer. Mrs. Aubren sighs 'he's probably got his headphones on.' She opens the door and he does in fact have his headphones on. He sees us and turns the music off. 'Oh sorry mom, i didn't know they got here.' She shakes her head. 'No that's fine. I told Amanda it would be ok to hang in here till dinner instead of talking with us boring parents.' She laughs and I laugh a little too. Alex nods and says its fine. I walk in and sit on the bed, and Mrs. Aubren closes the door. Alex joins me on the bed and says to make myself comfy, he doesn't mind. I sit with my back against the back board of the bed, and so does he, and he turns on the TV. He looks at me, 'So, how you liking your new house?' I look around his room and say 'Its great.' And nod while saying that. He smiles and I gasp. There is a poster on his wall of one of my favorite bands, Mumford and Sons. He looks at me weird and I say 'I love that band!' And point to the poster. He laughs and says 'Yeah they're pretty cool.' And nod and smile. All my #life I had been very outgoing, and got comfortable around people quickly. He obviously noticed that today. I sigh and look at him. 'So.' I say and make an awkward face. He laughs and says 'what school are you gonna go to?' I think about that for a second, and then remember it. 'Jefferson High.' He raises his eyebrows. 'I go there!' And I smile. 'Its a great school' he comments. And I say 'cool.' I didn't really know what else to say. Then we're called down for dinner. It was really good, actually, and I complement Mr. Aubren for his delicious meal he had prepared. He thanks me and we clean up the plates. My mom says that they were going to talk some more, so if I wanted to go upstairs with Alex that was fine. Once we get into his room, we plop on the bed and turn on the TV. I sigh and rest my head on the pillow. 'You okay?' He asks, looking at me. 'You seem kinda sad.' I quickly look at him and try and cover it up. 'Oh yeah, I'm fine. I'm just really tired.' I sit up and try and act natural. I lean my head back and watch the TV. But I can feel Alex sensing something, as if he knew something was wrong. But I see in the corner of my eye he is watching the TV, and I just sigh and watch it too. My eyes get really heavy, and after about a few minutes I realize that my head was on his shoulder. I gasp and quickly draw my head back. I apologize. He laughs, 'No, it's fine. You can stay there if you want.' He smiles, and I didn't feel like arguing, I was really tired. I lay my head back down on his shoulder, and my heart quickens when his head rests on mine. But I realize, its nothing more than a friendly gesture. So! How do you guys like it so far? This is the first part.. I have no idea how many parts there will be though lol. K bye ^_^

Sorry :/ Why didn't I listen? Why didn't I stop? What was I thinking? I ask these questions as I sob. I wish there was a way out, I wish I could restart, I wish I had never told you, This really hurts my heart. I convinced myself it was true, But deep down I knew it never was, This isn't what is was supposed to be, I'm sorry, but enough is enough. I know I made promises, I know I said the things I said; and I thought they were true. Please forgive me, I know I can't take them back, But I regret them all, see where it has lead me to? I should have listened to my mind, not my cry for attention, Not the fake voice saying that the love's true. I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore. I have to break through. The sadness is taking over me, Its ruining my #life. It's ruining me. I'm sorry. Goodbye Sorry- not the best #poem, but it's a vent (:

I Miss You I miss you. Your smile that brightens my #life, Your arms to hold me tight. I miss you. Please come back, It makes me so sad. I miss you. It hurts when you aren't here, I need to have you near. I miss you. And I know all the pain will mend, Once I see you again.

Hi Haven't been on in a while! I've been really busy... How is everyone?