Scarey Inflight Announcement A plane had just took off from JFK in New York. After reaching its cruising altitude of 35,000ft, the Captain made an announcement over the P.A. "Ladies and Gentleman, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to flight 293 non -stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and flying conditions are excellent. So sit back, relax and - OH MY GOD!". Then silence. The passengers looked around at each other, confused as to what was going on. Finally after a few minutes which felt like hours, the captain came back on the P.A. and said "Apologies about that ladies and gents, sorry if I scared you earlier but one of the flight attendants brought me a coffee and spilt it in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!". A passenger sat in economy said "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!!!"

Turbulence Turbulence...... The dictionary definition states 'Irregular motion of the atmosphere, as that indicated by gusts and lulls in the wind'. Cabin Crews definition states 'God's way of telling passengers to sit the fuck down and get out if my aisle!' Praise the lord!

The Blonde Stewardess....probably Virgin Atlantic! Hotel lobby in L.A. and a crew are sat round preparing for their duty. One crew member is missing however, the newbie. The Captain gets straight on the phone to her room but when she answers she's crying her eyes out. "What's the matter?" says the Captain, "why are you crying?". "I can't get out of the room" replied the hostie. A little confused the captain went on to enquire why she was seemingly stuck in her hotel room? "Well, there are three doors in this room" she sobbed, "one is for the bathroom, one is for the wardrobe and the other has a sign on it saying 'Do Not Disturb'"!!!!

Confessions Of A Trolley Dolly Ever wondered what really goes on behind that Galley curtain? Ever wondered what we do on a night stop in all those exotic destinations? Wanna know how we deal with those awkward passengers? Well your in the right place as we reveal all there is to know about the #life of an international hostie! Where did all the glamour go? What ever happened to the glory days of flying? Well not only will we take you into the sometimes weird and often wonderful world of cabin crew, let us also take you back to the glamorous 'Jet Set' days before the lo-cost likes of Ryanair and easyJet ruined it for everyone! You can also find me on Twitter - @flymeanytime and facebook.com/confessionsofatrolleydolly Blog coming soon also! Stay tuned ladies and gentleman and once again welcome aboard!