November 070am. Still hadn't slept. Champagne breath Smokey hair Drunken eyes Lovers thoughts. Walking up the stairs, holding hands- him leading the way, she secretly pinched the top of her thigh. She couldn't tell if she was dreaming or not. It seemed real, very real, but not convincing enough. She felt, nothing. She didn't know whether she should be feeling at all. So, she followed this love. Trusted him; this blue eyed entity to find answers. The question pulled her close. Pressing her face under his chin. Held her tight. Hugging her. He seemed relieved. She wandered what her next move should be. She kissed under his chin once, his cheek once and pressed herself hard against hisself. The two questions brushed their lips roughly and quickly against each other. Their body lengths fitted each other perfectly. Matching. Colliding. Linking each other together. Recognising. He pulled her on top of him, wanting every part of her at once. She rubbed hard upon him, arousing all the feelings within him. He pulled her down, closer. Dragging his fingers down her bony back, hard and passionately. Feeling her up; touching all the same places he used to love. Remembering how she felt. Reminiscing what they once had. They wanted to get lost in each other. And they did. 'Do you love me?' The dreamer asked. Seeking forgiveness. 'Yes.' He sorely tried to tell. She still couldn't understand why they were where they were. Nor did she want to understand it anymore. Tears did roll down her face. Not out of love, but fear. The fear of another loss. The fear of losing herself once more too. He pushed her off, turned her around and brought her to his angle. Ready. My back to his chest. He breathed in her ear. Held her left breast. She exhaled and wiped her tears before he could notice. A flame lit inside of her as his lips touched her back. And bit her. Harder and harder until she screamed. Until it hurt. She turned over and let him in. On top again she got lost in her dream. Living it out. Wondering. Letting go. Reminiscing. She had forgotten how well they worked together. How easy it was to get lost. To be happy. They wanted to get lost in each other. They did. And still haven't found their way back.

Everything The flame inside me has burnt. Burned itself. Now all that remain are the ashes of what I was, my feelings, my memories. Your laughter, your love, our link. Our souls have gone against each other. They're scared of the one thing that can't hurt them. That won't hurt them. They're waiting for change. Maybe change isn't the answer. She's lost and turned stubborn. Maybe fearless. She doesn't trust, but aches for his hand. She's so sorry, yet so angry. Doesn't know where to walk to, so she's running. Running from herself. Running from her soul mate. Running to anywhere where there's nothing. Betrayal is what she had learnt. Betrayal is what she now knows. Betrayal is the word tattooed across her head. At the pit of her soul, of what is left, she protects the ashes that remain- with everything she possess. She gives herself up to him, again and again and again. To the other lost soul. To her other half. She hugs him, tight, strong. He holds her, close, but just close so she can't leave. Close enough to make her believe. She finds herself lost in places where there is always nothing. She gave herself up to nothing. Was once something; everything.

Home I remember walking down the courtyard. Blood boiling. Trying to maintain my breathing. Not to mention having no clue to where I was heading. All I knew I was going somewhere. I remember catching your eyes, upon me. Instantly you knew something had happened. I always look back at that day, not sure why. Just that look on your face when you spotted me. I don't think my memory will throw that away. And I forget a lot of things. You came straight at me. Laughed at my witty anger, and put your arm around me shoulders. I never felt so safe. This isn't the only time I've felt safe. But if I had to sit and list them all, I might as well write a book. That is one of my dreams, to write a book. I must remember to tell him that. My heart ached for him, but we were so close and bonded that my heart didn't tell me. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally safe with this person. I never asked for him. He just came, and wanted to stay. So I said yes. Knowing that he was the end of me.

Thinking Windows closed. Blinds drawn. The cat dreaming. The air warm. Two out of five bulbs working. The clock ticking. The fridge rumbling. My breathing normal. My stomach quiet. My mind working. My mind working fast, hard, long. Processing every movement, sound, word. Over thinking. Forever wondering; what if? Perhaps? Maybe? If so? My mind not giving up, not sleeping. Working. Plotting. Imagining. Never forgetting.

Waiting Water droplets drip down her naked body, crashing to the ground. The warm air surrounding her perfect structure thickening by every breath she makes. She stares at the disfigured person stood in front of her and confusion staggers her mind. Her heart beat steady, and her breathing quiet. Staring at the person in front of her she fights to find some sense of feeling, emotion, but nothing. He strokes her back, and down her left arm, with the need to get her body in his naked hands. She could see he loved her, but she could not understand how and why. She stares deeply into this strangers eyes, as she gives herself up to him. Finally, a rush of emotion came to her. Heat and fire empowered and rushed through her veins, awakening her heart for a few seconds, but she knew this feeling. She's learnt this feeling, and it was not the feeling she desperately loathed and searched for. She looked back up at this unknown person. His loving eyes burning her beautiful skin, as he spoke another language she did not understand.