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cakegirl21

Hey guys! I am in 6th grade, and I love to write! If you follow me, I will follow you back! And if you have any name ideas for my series I am working on, feel free to share!

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  • 01-01-70
  • Living in United Kingdom

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cakegirl21
Translate   11 years ago

Alice In Wonderland Alice in Wonderland Close your eyes and take my hand You'll find your Neverland is just a dream away Alice in Wonderland Your every wish is my command You'll come to understand It's a brand new day A fairytale? A fantasy? A quite elusive mystery? All will surely come to pass Through the magic Looking glass!

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Vanessa

Wonderful piece. Keep up the great work hun 👏👏💥👍
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cakegirl21

@999nessa Tysm 😊😊😊
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    cakegirl21
    Translate   11 years ago

    Rain Dripping loudly down the panes Coming from the clouds is rain Water falling from the sky It's hard for birds to fly Trees are growing very tall Flowers are having a ball The sky is damp and wet with tears Shed by the master of cheer He is probably sad tonight Because of the lack of #life People are dying everywhere And he thinks it isn't fair All of this is happening in the lane As it peacefully, gracefully rains -cakegirl21

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    Vanessa

    👍💙👏👏
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    cakegirl21

    @999nessa 😊
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      cakegirl21
      Translate   11 years ago

      Unnamed- Prologue A bright light. I walk towards it, basking in its gorgeous hues, purple, orange, blue, red. All of those shades mixed into one, beautiful, huge, amazing glow. As I walk to its beauty, I don't even realize that all around me the ground is turning red and the trees are swaying roughly. But the light mesmerizes me, and I feel like my very own #life is in the glowing orbs hands. As I get closer, I suddenly hear footsteps close by. The sky turns red, and the tree branches are everywhere. I finally snap out of the trance, and realize I could be in danger. Then suddenly, the light goes out. Everything goes still. All the trees stop blowing, and the branches fall to the ground. The sky turns black. I still hear the footsteps, getting louder, louder, until they are so close I swear that they are only a few yards away. Then, from where the light was, I see a shadow. The shadow comes towards me, until I see what it actually is. A HUMAN? He gets closer, until the ground gives way and he falls through a crevice. I run foward, and I try to save him despite what my parents told me about humans, but I am too late. He hurdles to his death, screaming "DAWN!!!" and I wonder how he knows my name. But then I realize that now, there is no chance of saving him. Ever. And then I wake up.

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      Vanessa

      Amazing! Wonderful use of vocabulary. Keep it up 😊 I think you have great potential to grow into an decorated author! I think you have so much talent I need to give you a tip. In this piece I noticed you describe what you hear and see. I've learned that when describing something in great detail add in all five senses. I remember when I was younger I never did this and now, at 13, I finally realized this trick. So explain what you smell and feel and and maybe even taste. Ya know cuz it really transforms the reader to inside your story. Just a tip. But great piece 😉
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      cakegirl21

      @999nessa thanks so much for the tips! I am really honored to be critiqued by you because you are an amazing author!!!
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      Vanessa

      @cakegirl21 no problem! And why thank you. Your quite the writer yourself
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        cakegirl21
        Translate   11 years ago

        Hey Guys Hey guys! I am new to Opuss, so hi! It's so nice to be a part of a community of amazing writers! I am 12, but I love to write stories, and I believe that no matter how old you are, you can write. Thanks!

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        Vanessa

        Welcome bud
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        Mupsy

        It's certainly possible. There's certainly a learning curve but I've seen a few amazing youth writers.
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        Cataract / Stevo Owens

        Go for it. And welcome aboard
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