Howl Of Pity I tilt my misjudged face to the star scattered sky, My lips part, Ready to commence my feared song, My eyes reflect the universe, Flecked with my #life, Flecked with my death, Silence isn't real in my world, My ears were fined tuned and delicate as a moths wings, Then, My first song of sorrow, pleasure and happiness ripples through me, My very being, My soul, Released unto the forest, I was a wolf.

Am I Insane? Here I sit, My eyes a-blaze, Scowling through the mist and haze, My straight jacket ever tight, I'm unable to sleep through the night, I hear noises others do not, Since I was a toddler in my cot, Maybe I'm insane, But no matter what my pain, My own kind fail to hear me, And that's why people fear me. As I converse with the immortal, And watch there light and hull, Will I ever be released? I doubt it in the least.

(thoughts about wolf hunting, it has been plaguing my mind.) Down, Down, The undergrowth brushing my muzzle, I flee from something that not even the most loyal predator could escape, To see through my eyes, The terror, My muzzle tainted with blood, My chest shaking with every desperate breath, Down, Down, Goes my lupine body, As I hit the earthen carpet, I feel my last breath escape my lungs.

(Sorry feeling down at the moment and slightly bored) One more cut. I knew it wouldn't be enough to ease my internal pain, a deep sickening pain that tortured me daily, but... Why was I so driven to keep trying? I stopped for a second closing my eyes fighting tears which were not even there, I was sitting in my bathroom leaning against its grubby walls where grime and the damp moisture clung deep. I felt the hot steam of my bath rising upward and nestling in my hair creating iridescent pearls of vapour. But even though the moisture and heat was soothing my throat was as dry as bones, my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth and all I could taste was salt. I knew I should stop, but whenever I saw my blood gently slide down my arm or feel its warmth, I felt even more alive and alert. It was just a sign that I was still here. Not dead and #lifeless. But still had the warmth of #life flowing through my veins.

Angel Saunders, Was his gentle embrace and hot lips brushing mine all I really wanted? It was hard to believe we had ever been a 'item' even though it had been very public people seemed to forget couples within the school like a childhood memory, faint and blurred yet somewhat there just waiting to re-emerge when called upon. But today as I sat in my English class by my new window seat I was all but helpless to my desire to let my eyes wander over to his desk, torturing myself yet again, I knew his broad and well muscled shoulders would be slightly tilted toward Amber, her beautiful chestnut hair curled down her back her light olive skin almost glowed with health, and her dainty hands propped her up as she rested them under her pixie chin. A vast difference between me and her, I had almost silver blonde hair, it wasn't dyed so it looked almost cloud white, I had chalk pale skin which had the inept habit of looking icy under the warm summer light, and I had always been slender. But what shocked most people was compared to my body my breasts seemed unnaturally large and smooth, but I tried everything to squish them into a B cup, which I could say didn't go as planned. I realised my attention was clearly drawn so I blinked hard and tried stare at the board nodding whenever Mr. Denver's glare washed over me, he swept his eyes around the class and I heard his intake of breath, as he began to call upon one poor soul who would be the next to answer some tedious question. "Ah! See what we have here class? A classic example of a window day dreamer!" he sung, he really should've taught drama or music, extending one boney finger at me and tilting his broad chin upward he carried on "Angel Saunders! My darling, you must demonstrate how you go into this state, I'm sure your fellow pupils would be ecstatic if you were kind enough to share!" I felt my eyes flash down, subconsciously brushed my hair forward onto my shoulders and ran my hand gently through my bangs, flushing and mumbling slightly I said "Erm, I'm ok Sir, I just... I'm tired thats all..." I lifted my eyes back up and peering through my thick lashes I managed to see (fortunately) everyone had swivelled back around in there squeaky plastic chairs to face the board yet again, whispering and sniggering. But one face still remained smouldering at me, Shane had one of his cheeky lopsided grins on his face, dirty blonde hair sticking out in every possible direction it's edges catching the soft light that filtered through the oak blinds that lined each window, it sent a cool sensation up my spine as he laughed to himself, his mouth quivering and his pine needle green eyes were flecked with humour. I knew I shouldn't like him, he was my official ex-boyfriend, something of the past not the future I instructed myself but yet a voice whispered in my mind "Your hair looks gorgeous, I like the way they have layered it-" I tried my hardest to shake off the memory, but it enveloped me in my own secret pleasure so I gave in and let it unravel. I was the same age as I was now, sixteen and so was he. When we were a couple we had the habit of meeting up after class, underneath the ancient rich leafed chestnut tree. I was leaning against it's vast trunk listening to the irrelevant chatter of passing students and the faint rustle and whisper of the leaves, wavering in the spring breeze. The light danced around me, leaves blocking the sun and revealing it effortlessly in a hypnotising pattern. I sensed someone else leaning against the other side of the tree, turning my head slightly I saw Shane, his hair as usual was rumpled and spiky, he wore a red and white baseball tee and a pair of slouchy jeans, his sneakers were lightly coated with some dirt dust. I still remember wearing my denim shorts and lilac vest, I despised wearing tight shirts but I wore them whilst around Shane to flaunt my figure. I had just returned from the hair salon and I was extremely proud of my new hairstyle, it was layered in such a way so it made my soft downy hair fluffy and slightly more wavier than usual and my bangs were uneven and rough slicing jaggedly over my right eye, I looked like a punk and I know I still appear that way. So I was very pleased to see Shane, I was hoping the first thing he would notice when he turned to me would be my new hairstyle. I remained leaning against the tree then I heard a gentle sigh and the sound of him pulling himself off the scratchy bark trunk, he spun around to me and said in a low voice "Wow, Angel you look more beautiful than usual", blushing a un fashionable scarlet I bit my lower lip, trying my very hardest to look seductive or at the least appealing. But being a atrocious flirter (even after numerous lessons with my friend Lavender who seemed a suspicously good hit with guys). "Thank you Shane, I'm glad it looks OK I was sort of worried you wouldn't like it." I stressed, but he shook his head and replied "I love whatever you look like, but remember I love your personality more than anything." he stopped and grinned and leant forward slightly just enough for me to smell the hint of a minty aftershave and a gentle lick of sweat, I could have sat in a room all day just holding one of his shirts to my nose inhaling his scent deeply but I knew that would probably make me come off even stranger than I already was. He then began to brush his nose against mine, gosh why was he such a tease? I thought to myself but I immediately focused back in when I felt his mouth gently make contact with mine, his lips were damp and hot and very soon we were deep in a kiss tasting and savouring each other like we would never get enough. But my memory was then broken and shattered by the bell, in reality I had drifted into another one of my daydreams and this time recess and Lavender would be its ending. With the memory still lingering I rose out of my chair and scooped up my notebook (for my daydream doodles) and my other stationery and piled them into my faded emerald backpack. Smoothing out my layers and bangs yet again, I turned to the door at the right of the classroom where I knew Lavender would be impatiently leaning against the door frame scuffing her red sneakers or retouching her ever perfect makeup. I had many ways of describing my friend, I had known her since kindergarten when she was colouring with some shabby crayons, and at her side was her her little plush kitten toy (which I had envied) she had noticed me scowling at her and eyeing up her toy so she turned to me and asked "Would you like to play with Kiki with me?" and ever since that day when she showed me some hospitality we had been best friends ever since. Now she was petite and a little feisty, her almost jet hair had been tainted a dark blue so it gave it a beautiful marine shimmer when it caught the light, right now her usual messy behead pixie crop had been tamed and pulled into a small ponytail at the nape of her neck by a shiny red polka ribbon (which I noticed was cleverly matched with her bold red sneakers which were absolutely dirt free). I couldn't help but notice the fly away hairs wafting in the updraft, glinting as the suns harsh glare hit them. I felt my eyebrows fly up when I saw her main event; a oversized boyfriend hoodie was all she seemed to be wearing, she always seemed to know how to look quirky and creative which really reflected her personality.