The First While
It was the first day of school. I spotted you in the halls and all I could do was stop and stare. You were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Nothing in my heart said you were wrong for me. It was like... Like seeing a little baby blue bird fly for the first time. There was a feeling you gave me and it was sweeter than the bliss of my first kiss.
It took me four fucking months to gather the courage to ask for a chance. And when I did my throat was completely clogged and my breathe just gone, plain and simple. When i stood outside that coffee shop waiting for you to walk over, it took what seemed to be hours.
The moment you stepped outside the school everything shut down, all but my eyes. Heart pounding, eyes tearing, hands shaking, I gazed at you and took the steps over to pull you aside. All I did then was asked the simple question," will you go out with me?" I was shaking the worst I'd ever in my whole #life. But, of course you said the answer I'd wanted: yes.
We went into the coffee shop and just sat. I could only just feel stupid at that point and just look at your hand wishing I could just grab some balls and take it in mine. I didn't that day but I knew I would at some point.
Your mom was there to pick you up so you got up and I got up with you. Before you left I wrapped you up In my arms and as I started to pull away from the hug I stared at your eyes; god they were gorgeous, and knew that it was the prefect time to kiss you. That moment when our lips touched all I did was float and fly. I knew I loved you at that point for sure. You were my baby.
A few weeks later I had the worst scare of my #life with you; you thought I was cheating on you. God, no way in hell would cheat on you.
When I started to talk to you about it I was falling apart. What had I done to fuck it up with the best girl I'd ever had.
I had no reason to worry once we'd finished talking I ha your trust again ad u could keep doing my stupid little flirty shit with you.
So it had been about two months for us, and it was Christmas!!! I was insanely sad that you had to go to Utah so I couldn't see you but, it gave me time to get you a present. What the fuck was I going to get you?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
It took me a while but the day before you got back from Utah I finally got you a present. It was a stupid little heart shaped necklace from target. No matter how stupid it was. I knew you'd love it.
Today was the day I'd get to finally see you after two weeks!! I was so excited to give you the necklace I had no clue what you'd say.
I saw you walking around looking for me. I'd never been so breathtaken in my #life. Your hair was curled and just the way your body was moving was just beautiful. I ran up behind you as quietly as I possibly could and lifted the necklace over your head. You stopped and smiled as I looked over your shoulder and clicked the necklace together.
Almost instantaneously, you jumps around an gave me the greatest kiss ever. After that, you took my wrist and slid the bless the fall bracelet you'd gotten for me onto my wrist. That was my favorite band at the time.
We walked around, hand in hand, and talked about how we'd missed each other so much. I could even explain it.
The next day was the worst day of my #life the only time I'd ever thought,"fuck you."
We were texting and you were pissed off at me do who the fuck knows what. And you said to me," I wish I could do this in person but I don't want to do it at school."
She didn't even need to say anymore. I new what she was doing. She was splitting my heart straight down the middle.
When we were In school , after 1st period I pulled you aside in the hall, hugged you, and told you I loved you. That was all needed to be done so I just walked away.
That was the hardest day of my #life. In the halls or in the locker room all I could see was you. Even when I was in mid conversation with someone I spaced out and stared.
It went this way for around a month and the only releases I'd felt we're telling my best friend, lexx, and cutting.
Every night All I thought about was you. I always ended up telling lexx how I felt every night and it really helped me.
It was now four days before valentines day and pulled me aside after school. I panicked with what you showed me: cuts.
After you showed me and I tried to get out why all I could say was I loved you and hugged you.
After the last hug we started pulling away and caught each other's gaze. We both new what it meant.
You leaned in. I leaned too. At that moment in time I had the least amount of breathe possible, none.
Sparks flew, everywhere. That kiss lasted a #life time. It was the greatest most meaningful kiss I'd ever gotten.
It hurt to know what you meant by that kiss, though it was quite obvious. You meant goodbye.
That night I cried, and cried, and cried until I had no tears left. Every night when I fall asleep or every morning when I wake, I look down at my wrist; I haven't let that bracelet leave my sight.
It's been a few weeks and I'm still not over you. I miss you.
