You Know Something Amazing Happened What I think happened to me is that I moved away from violent angry cutting depressed girl to a neutral easily angered girl with a lot of issues. I dont think it makes sense but thats what I feel. Well I guess focusing on school might help but I'm the biggest procrastinator so maybe I will have an ok grade before the end of the year.

Questions I have a thousand questions and a million answers but one question that I can't answer and that question haunts me more than anything. Why do I blame my brother for all of my problems? He has always been my biggest bully and my biggest competition. I never thought about why I always blame him. So that has been bothering me and I can't get it out of my mind.

What If... What would happen if I just put my #life on hold. Just stopped going to school for the rest of the year. What if I just stayed here in my room and hoped everything would change. Would anyone notice that I was different? Would anyone care that I wasn't myself? Would anyone remember the old me and try to change me? What if I died would anyone see the scars on my arms and realize I was depressed? What if I was murdered would anyone try to look for the killer? What if I ran away would anyone come after me?

What If? What would happen if I just closed my eyes and didn't open it? What if I just stayed there and though about everything? What if I just stayed there for an entire day or weekend or week or month would I understand myself then?

Why Is It Bad? Why is it bad that I cut? Why do people look at me like I am broken? I know that it's "bad" but why? why is it bad? Can you tell me? Of course not because you don't look to see how good it feels.