Gun Control If the government wants my guns, they'll have to pry them from my cold, dead fingers. Literally.... Pistol fingers are the closest thing I have to a gun. Peew pew pew peew.

Confused I turned on the radio this morning and heard "Tomorrow there's a slight chance of a shower." I wasn't sure if it was the weather report or Ke$ha's hygiene schedule.

Hippies Vs. Hipsters 1. Hippies take drugs to be one with the universe. Hipsters believe they are the only ones in the universe. 2. Hippies wear pants so wide on the bottom, you think they must be nuts to wear them. Hipsters wear pants so tight, you think they must have no nuts to wear them. 3. Hippies believe in free love. Hipsters hate everything. The winner: Hippies

Banned I recently got banned from Christian mingle.com. How was I supposed to know it's not an appropriate place to make a catholic school girl fantasy a reality?