If You Really Knew Me [Part2] If you really knew me, you would know that I try, so damn hard to help everyone else around me. You would know that it really hurts when it just gets thrown in my face, or when I'm made to be a fake. You would know what my sensitive subjects are. You would also know that I feel like, you can't save anyone. Not when they refuse your help or claim you're acting. If you really knew me, you would know that I feel like I'm walking a thin line while trying to balance those I care about so we can make it to safety. You would know that it takes a toll on me to care so much, but see the words that don't seem to care at all. You would know that sometimes I feel like Charlie. Witnessing so much pain around me, and wanting to make it all stop. Wanting for everyone to have happy lives. You would also know that, if I fall from the thin line I walk, I don't know that I will get back up.

If You Really Knew Me [Part1] If you really knew me, you would know that I have had abandonment and trust issues my entire #life. You would know that I was adopted at four months old. If you really knew me, you would know that my mother never looked at me but one time before placing me in an orphanage. You would also know that my father ran out on us before I was born. If you knew me, you would know that I have a brother who I will never meet. If you really knew me, you would know that I am gay. You would know that I have been "different" because of it, almost my whole #life. If you really knew me, you would know that I am proud to be gay, but I have lost a lot along the way. You would know, that after I came out, I didn't get to see my grandfather, the man who raised me, again until I saw him on a morticians table. If you really knew me, you would know that he was my world. You would know that he showed me what it meant to love. If you really knew me, you would know that I attempted suicide. You would know that I have been bullied my entire #life, and have felt worthless because of it. If you knew me, you would know that I was once almost killed in a school bathroom. You would know that I lost all my friends after that. If you really knew me, you would know that I've never felt like I deserved true love. You would know, that I constantly fear turning into who my father was. You would also know, what it's like to be me. If you really knew me, you would just know.

Dear Someone [Part 7] Dear Someone, You are beautiful. You are going to be fine. Sure, you might be a little bit moody. Sure, you might be a little crazy. Maybe you're just a little unsure of everything you want. Maybe you're even a little bit insecure. (Being honest, who isn't?) But you are just fine. The answers will come. You will understand what you're supposed to be doing with your #life. You will find someone to love, and who loves you just as much. And most importantly, you will figure everything out eventually. You will, and you know it. I know it too. You are stronger than all the bull shit. You are worth so much. You are amazing. You are beautiful. I believe you can do this. I believe you can make it through this. I believe in *you.* It might be hard right now. And it might seem like the storm won't ever pass. But it will. You just have to stick it out till it does. And I'll be here for you. Always. To listen. Or to provide you a distraction from everything. Whatever you need. I promise. In the meantime, keep smiling. Keep your head up, beautiful. Keep your courage up, and you'll make it through. I know it. Love, Shane Oliver

"I believe that in order to love that which you create yourself, you must first have faith in yourself and your ability. You have an artist inside you. You see beauty everywhere because you know it's there. You just need to have the courage to go out and show the world how you see it." ~Shane Oliver

"What do you do when you want so badly to be with the one who makes your heart explode out of your chest, but you also don't want to hurt her again? Does that mean that it's real?? If so, I don't think I want to be part of it. Then again, I want it more than anything." ~ Shane Oliver King