True Loneliness 21 Matthew I stayed awake and cuddled her when she became agitated and caressed her when she whimpered. I watched her face and felt so much love for her. She was my little baby, so cute and so small in my arms. The love for her overwhelmed me again and I couldn't think of anyone with her besides me but I can't force this she has to make the next step. I looked at the time and saw it was 6am, she had to get to work for 8:30...I think now is a good time to wake her up so she can get ready. I was about to reach down and kiss her when she uttered 'Jerome' and an intense feeling of #depression and regret seemed to exude from her. I could feel my fangs growing, my throat parched. I was in predator mode, my nails had begun to grow they pierced her and she arched away from my hand and smiled as she said what sounded like my name. I froze, everything within me stopped, my mind was blank. My fangs and nails receded, the painful dryness in my throat dulled. She reached out and put her arms around my neck pulling me close. I wanted no more than to keep her like this but this wasn't the first time I almost lost control watching her sleep. I shook her, "Jaz, it's time to get up" I said softly into her ear. She stirred, she woke up at first shocked. She looked at her surroundings then me. "Did I sleep in your arms the whole time??" She asked, something in her voice had me uneasy "Yeah?" I tried to smile it off. She wiggled out of my arms and stood up. "Sorry" she mumbled and walked away from me. 'Should I get up and follow? Should I give her space?' I stood in the corridor, I could hear she was in the shower. I remained still and allowed my senses to heighten, I could hear her muffled cries. I could smell the fruity soap but it didn't stop me from sensing her loneliness. I cleared my throat as I walked into the kitchen. *** We ate in silence, actually she ate in silence. I just sipped on a glass of water. I wanted so bad to break the silence but I knew she had to be the one who took the next step. She squirmed in her seat, she looked almost childlike. She had tied her hair up into the bun she usually reserved for when she was chilling at home, which meant she must have been agonising over something as she got ready. She was wearing a black shirt and black figure-hugging-high-waisted skirt. She wasn't wearing her wedding ring but then I noticed a chain that she had on her neck. "I need to call the boys before school" she said as she stood up and put her dishes in the sink. I decided I might aswell wash up, she walked into the other room. She picked up the phone and dialed a number. She walked back into the kitchen, I could feel her watching me as she waited for her phone call to be picked up on the other side. Her gaze broke when someone answered the phone. "Hey mummy, can I speak to my babies before they go to school?...Yeah I'm sure you are well...I'm okay mum, don't worry about me please just let me speak to my boys...thank you...Awwww Jah! Sha! How are you babies?...aww I miss you boys too...I will see you on Friday...no this won't be forever...Sha, don't hurt your brother!...I know you want to speak to me on your own but you have to share..Do you love me boys?...good love you too. I will call you tonight to find out how school was okay?...Okay?...good, love you, take care of granny...bye..." She finished off her phone call then stood next to me. "Is it bad that I don't feel guilt about what happened?" She asked her brown eyes looked up at me. "What happened?"I asked inquisitively "We kissed, touched. You aren't my husband" she said looking away from me. "I know I'm not" I spoke softly. Her caramel skin called out to me. I wanted to caress it. "Jaz, I'm here for you. Whatever you want from me, I'm here to give." "Could you...hold me?" She asked hesitantly "Of course I can" I smiled at her. I held her close, I held her gently, she wrapped her arms around me pulling me into her. "You want something else?" I chuckled. She looked up at me seriously, then she laughed. "Let's go you clown" she walked away, her hips swaying. Her bum was round and stood out way too much in that skirt, I wanted to rip it off. But i held back "Hey Jaz, don't you think that skirts a bit too much?" I ran after her as she grabbed her stuff and headed out of the door.

True Loneliness 20 Jazmine His cold hands arched my head up gently so that I could look at him. I knew I must have looked terrible but Matthew made me feel so comfortable with him. Everything seemed to melt away. It happened so fast, his cold lips were on mine. His hands, one on the small of my back and the other on my face caressing me. The kiss although wrong felt so right, I at first was shocked but then felt like I wanted more. The sadness seemed to be sucked away, all I could think of was how much I wanted Matthew right now. I leaned in and reached up to pull him closer, he seemed to be a bit shocked by this but he didn't stop. He pulled away then kissed my forehead, then my nose then my neck. He kissed my neck briefly and then he knelt down and kissed my stomach. I felt so shy yet cared for. "Matthew?" I asked anxiously "It is okay" he said softly "I just want to treasure you, like you deserve to be" He stood up again and carried me easily as if I was a baby and sat down. "I want you to feel that you aren't alone, I'm here for you." I snuggled into his neck. "I'm so tired, can we just be like this?" "Of course" he kissed my forehead and played with the small hairs on my neck as I fell asleep in his strong arms. As I fell asleep, something lingered in my mind. His chest didn't move...he wasn't breathing. This thought faded as I fell asleep.

Ill That feeling of your body fighting a war you cannot help. There are no weapons you can arm your body with only things to soothe wounds from the war. It feels like you're losing, your nose runs, your throat burns the constant coughing and sneezing. While you're body fights a virus that has no cure. Your voice goes as the war goes on, the battle is at a deciding point if the secret soldiers don't come then this war could get worse. But then soldiers that have been secretly training to defeat this virus while the war was going emerge and there is victory! But before the Virus dies it has a couple of last words. "I will be back in summer then again in winter, better and much different than before. Let's see how you fare next time" Nobody listens, nobody cares. Your body celebrates because it knows that this war is inevitable. The battle against the common cold is something that must happen. Lol

True Loneliness 19 Matthew I knew I was probably making her a little uncomfortable but I just wanted her to know, I wanted her to have an inkling of a thought that I was talking about her. If only I could read her mind, she seemed to keep catching my eyes. "So are you still looking?" She asked, she then licked her lip and I saw the soreness. She caught me staring again. "What? It's a cold sore" she chuckled. I couldn't stop myself I was knelt down in front of her, I gently pulled her hand out from under the covers. There was no resistance as a tear fell down her cheek. I smiled softly as I caressed her bruised wrists. She winced and didn't stop watching me as the tears continued to flow. The hunger was being pushed away by the strong desire to protect Jazmine, my cold heart seemed to beat on its own. I caressed her face, wiping each tear away. I could feel her head relax into my hand as her eyes fluttered then closed. She nuzzled into my hand, she almost felt like a child. Her face so warm in my freezing cold hands. "Mmmm, your cold hard hands feel nice" she purred. I didn't want to spoil this situation, I was so close. "Jaz you deserve so much more" I spoke softly, the tears began to fall and she became alert. "What do you mean?!" She sat up and looked at me confused "I have kids, I'm married, what am I doing? Is this okay?" She stood up and so did I, she began to pace. I pulled her close as she broke down. "Is this okay?" She continued to repeat. It felt like ages till she calmed down. I was beginning to get weaker, the fight between my hunger and my will to protect was getting tougher. I needed to do something, anything to reduce her #depression. Then I thought of something, the only thing that could either make her hate me or love me.

Opuss Technical Issues Anybody else find that opuss is quite glitchy. Crashes at times and I can't change my bloomin' profile pic either! If you do repost or like maybe they'll talk notice and make an update. If not then...forgive my rant.