Something or Other: Chapter Four Though at one moment, I was worried that I would pass out because of blood loss or that I would get smashed together by the walls of a gigantic golden egg, you know, normal stuff. Then, I came out of the egg, and was worried about so many things. We were in what looked like a high tech college. Of course, it was a high tech college. We just didn't know that yet. An alien thing walked right past the two of us. It stopped, and it's blue head turned around 180 degrees to look at us. It walked away when it was called by a robot who appeared to be a tutor. This was weird enough without the Roman throwing a football toward John Quincy Adams. "...I don't think that we're in Kansas anymore, Something," Belenus said. "We never were in Kansas. We were in Somethingville in Some State in the US." Okay, so we've cleared up that Somethingville is not in Kansas. That narrows it down a little bit. A hologram appeared in front of us. It cast a pink glow on our faces. "Welcome, Belenus," the pink man said. "Oh... And who is this?" "I'm Something." "Hello, Something! I'm afraid that we aren't taking visitors right now... Or ever. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." "I would, but I don't know how. I've never been to Neverland before." "Okay," Belenus said. "She really needs some medical attention, so..." "Oh, of course. Nurse!" the hologram exclaimed. Three floating spheres came out of nowhere. "We. Will. Heal. You," One of them said robotically. "We. Will. Help. You," another said in a slightly higher voice. "It would appear that the patient hit her head rather hard against a rock of some sort," the third sphere said normally. "Dude!" The first sphere said. "Our act was going perfectly!" "Jesus. We had them convinced that we were like robotic drones. They were totally freaked out!" "Well, excuse me for doing my job! The patient is damaged! She needs our help" "Why couldn't we have a little fun beforehand?" "Enough!" the hologram yelled. "Just attend to the lady while I explain the U of the U to our newest student! Thank you!" "Come with us, ma'am," the second sphere said. "Oh, she's having trouble walking," Belenus said. "I better help." "Don't worry," the third sphere said. "We will create a telepathic field around her so as to keep her walking without much stress being put on her body. Come, Miss." The three spheres started glowing green. I stood up and started walking, but I didn't feel any stress on anything. It was almost as though I wasn't walking. "So," I asked. "What is the U of the U?" "The University of the Universe?" the first sphere said. "It is a universe that has been here longer than time itself." "That's impossible," I said. "Don't interrupt!" the second sphere said, "Now," the first sphere continued. "The U of the U has been around since before time, and it has always been. It is kept in a stasis outside the universe. It is also the size of the universe. It's sort of like, its happening at the same time and in the same place as the universe, but it is just barely separate from the universe." "That's impossible," I said again. "Stop talking!" the third sphere said. "As I was saying," the first sphere continued. "Because of its stasis, the U of the U stays all organisms which enter it remain at the same age. It takes students from all over the universe, and it is constantly adding students. Your friend Belenus has been selected as this centuries new student from Earth. Every one hundred years, we take a new student from every planet in the universe. Understand?" "...That's impossible," I said for the third time.

Something or Other: Chapter Three The inside of the egg was dark and cold. Neither Belenus nor I could see a thing. "So..." I asked. "What now?" The voice came back. "Belenus! In order to enroll in the University of the Universe, you must once more prove your worth! State your year and location!" "2008. Somethingville, Some State in the US." "What about your planet?" "Uhmm... Earth." "Calculating amount of possibly owned information. Calculations complete. Who was the first president of America?" "As in the United States of America?" "Affirmative." "George Washington." "Correct. 4724 times 5." "23620." "Correct. Who wrote Pendragon?" "DJ Machale." "Correct. What do you get when you oxidate iron?" "Rust." "Give one of the formulas for rust." "Fe2O3." "Correct. Test passed. You are worthy. Beginning transportation. Preparing to leave the universe." "Wait, what?" Belenus exclaimed. A bright white light shined through and showed us the gold walls. "Hey," I said. "It's smaller on the inside. It's like the anti-TARDIS." "Not just that, the walls are coming in on us." "Are we getting squished?" "I'm hoping that that's not what's actually happening." "So we are?" "Looks like it." The walls came in on us, and we seemed to just pass through them. There was still the blinding white light, but we were no longer in the egg. It was sitting at our feet. The light disappeared, and we looked around. "I wanna go back into the egg!" I said.

Something or Other: Chapter Two So there I was in Somethingville in Some State in the US. Snow had appeared out of nowhere in May. Kids were just randomly disappearing. I knew that there was only one thing that I could do. "Woohoo!" I shouted as I slid down the hill. I needed no sled! I just jumped right on down there. "Something!" my fried Belenus yelled. "You should be more careful!" "Aw! Don't be such a wus-" I said as I crashed into a rock. "Told ya!" "Owww..." Belenus had been my best friend since I moved to Somethingville. The guy was a genius. It made sense that his name meant brilliant. My name probably meant moron... Or some kind of rock... Was it Emerald? Ruby? Never mind. Belenus cautiously walked down the hill and helped me stand back up. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Never better. Say, why is the snow red right there?" "That'd be the blood from your nose." "Silly Belenus! I don't bleed snow!" I almost passed out at that point. "Alright!" he said as he caught me. "Let's get you home!" He supported me as we walked home. "Say," I said. "You're pretty strong for someone as small as you. What do you weigh? Like forty pounds?" "Ninety-eight pounds, Something. We've been over this. I'm weigh ten pounds less than you do." "Are you calling me fat?" "No. I'm calling me abnormally thin." We came up to Somethingstreet in Somethingville when Belenus stopped. "What's wrong?" I asked. "...Where'd my house go?" I looked to where his house one was and saw that there was a big egg shaped thing there instead. Belenus walked up to one of his neighbors. "Excuse me! Where's my house?" "Well, right over there, where it's always been," she said with a confused look on her face. Belenus walked me over to the big egg thing. "What do you think that it is?" I asked. "It looks like a gold egg." "So, you're saying that there's a humungous magic goose around here somewhere?" I asked. Remember, I had lost a lot of blood at this point. "No," Belenus said. "That wouldn't explain why the old woman couldn't see it." I'm still not sure if he was making a joke, trying to humor me, or if he was serious. After the stuff that we'd soon see, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a giant magic goose walking around Somethingville. Belenus walked up to the egg and touched it. A strange voice boomed so loudly that it knocked us on our backs. "Belenus! You have been chosen to attend the University of the Universe! Step into the containment unit and begin your journey! Refusal is not an option!" No one else could hear what this strange voice had to say. Against my will, Belenus picked us both up off of the ground, and we walked into the weird egg thing.

Something or Other: Chapter One Hi, my name is... Something or other. Sorry, I'm really bad when it comes to names. I just have more important things to think about. Don't blame me if I forget your name, seeing as how I just forgot mine. Uhmm... Something with an S... Oh well, you can just call me Something. Now, you're probably very confused at the moment. You know, confused about why your computer is talking to you, but don't worry, I'm not your computer. Like I said, I'm something. I'm human! Just like you! That is... Assuming that you are actually human. I'm not entirely sure when in the universe this will be getting to you, or where. I was aiming for Earth, and hopefully I made it there, I'm just not sure if I got to a point in time where you've yet to meet any alien races... Oh well. I'll tell you about them anyway, even if this is something tedious that you already knew. Aliens. Aliens from other worlds. They're real. Many of them are so magnificent. Aliens like the Sphikens or the Trapnoids, or the Cats! Do you have cats yet? Come to think of it, you might not even have computers yet, or you might be to the point in #life where people are using those weird tablet things. Sorry! Getting off topic again! Come on, Something, focus! So, yeah, aliens are real. Time-travel is real. All of that stuff is real, and it all came to me! The year was 2008. Again, not sure if that's before or after when you are. I was sixteen. I had just gotten my driver's license, that's for a car of course. Do you have cars yet? They're these wonderful... Actually, they suck. They pollute the Earth, they get people hurt, and they don't go anywhere near the speed of light! It's pathetic! I had just gotten home after getting the license, and I went in to show my mom. "Hey! Mom!" I shouted as I ran through the door. "I got my license!" "That's great!" she said. "My little girl's driving!" As she walked away, she muttered, "God help us!" I ran downstairs to my room and threw my stuff on the bed. Then, I had dinner. Then, I played some video games. Then, I brushed my teeth. Then... Sorry. This is the part of the story that you want to hear about, is it? I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock. I whacked the snooze button and went back to sleep. About two minutes later, my mom yelled, "Something! Just thought that I'd let you know! Don't bother waking up too early! School's cancelled!" "Why?" I yelled back. Of course, I was asking why she had to wake me up to tell me that. She took it to mean something else. "It's snowing!" This gave me a bit of a shock. Now, snow was not a totally random thing around there in... Huh. Funny. Can't even remember the name of the town... Or the state. It was in the northern part of the US. Does the US exist yet? Anyway, snow was not unusual. What was unusual was snow in May. It doesn't snow in May. Why would it? I went upstairs to look out the window and saw that she was right. It was snowing. Mom was sitting in front of the TV watching the news report. The weatherman said, "A freak snowing just struck down. Reports from civilians have stated that no one actually saw the snow fall. It was just sort of there. Along with this, the snow has only hit Somethingville. It has not struck any other town or city in all of Some State in the US. This is quite an anomaly, but is also nothing to be worried about. Back to you, Newscaster Lady." "Thank you, Weatherman Guy," Newscaster Lady said. Well, she didn't say that, she said his real name, obviously. "This freak weather incident may be the least of our troubles.The cases of the disappearing geniuses continues to be a plague on this poor town or city of Somethingville. All across America, super genius children are being kidnapped. These cases occur in all cities. From Somethingville to Somewhere Over There. From Some State in the US to Wisconsin. Children are being taken away. Some say that the children are only taken during freak weather patterns like today. If that is the case, this is probably because the public eye is being drawn to these weather patterns. So, I ask you. Please, keep an eye on your- And that's all the time we have! Join us tomorrow for Somethingville News on Some Channel!" Yup. This first part wasn't the most exciting thing in the world, However, trust me. This story gets really interesting, or my name isn't Something... Okay, it probably isn't Something...