My O So Conflicted Stream Of Conscious Thought
I enjoy my #life, but deep down when I have too much time to think, or possibly, the right amount, it's easy to feel slightly antagonised by the current times. Mine is a constantly distracted generation, intelligent and yet almost willingly exploited.
Using chemicals and technology to keep us from thinking for too long. To stop us realising that, in fact, we are not quite as free as we like to believe. We are allowed a degree of free will, but these are very different things. As a child I wanted a house somewhere hot, where I can grow, fish and trade. I thought I'd just have to learn how to build a house and fish... Obviously as I got older, I realised that I would have to earn money to achieve this, relatively simple, dream.
Quite allot actually.
Especially if I was going to fill this "house somewhere hot" with the flat screen tvs, xbox's cars and various other shiny objects that I had learned I desired along the way... Because apparently, even to live off the land, you need money to buy the land. You see, when I was a small child I thought I could just set up camp, and exist without paying anything. What a ridiculous fucking thought that was. Somewhere along the line I learned. I am a slave to my own massive want void. I keep stuffing stuff into it but it never seems to fucking fill up!? I'm chasing a lean, shiny, drunken distraction, high as fuck, in high definition at high speed in a fast car eating fast food, doing cocaine and drinking coca cola. A self aware cog distracted by kiss chase and bloodsport, an animal with a degree of intellect and a gross interest in a touch sensitive tax and ego inflated nation.
I want to run through the streets and take everything I feel I deserve, which on a certain level, is anything I am capable of taking. I want to physically harm people who attempt to suppress things they don't understand, who spread unjust hatred, as well as those who tell me "violence is never the answer.".
Wake the fuck up. This is only true in a world that is educated equally.
(Open hand slap)
I want to bite clean through the achilles of those who keep the sole of there feet firmly pressed into the back of my neck, preaching a message of peace with a children's book in one hand and a side arm in the other.
I want to be left alone...
I want to dance, spit, laugh, sing badly, cry, scream and occasionally give some ones clavicle a good tug if they behave indecently towards people around me.
I want to get star spangled n copulate and I don't want a fucking lecture about it from anyone except possibly David Attenborough.
I want to have adventures.
I want to run on instinct just for a day.
Then on logic.
Maybe that would help me juggle.
Thought is taxing.
But it's beauty is evident.
I never know what I want, but I always know how I feel and what I feel I NEED...
I had sex quite early in the day today, so I'm clearly already thinking too much...
Testosterone levels are low.
I fear if I ever became devoid of the need for the chase, I would go insane.
Or, maybe find peace.
I lack disapline and am too heavily driven by my emotions...
Monks are cool.
I'm hungry and the suns out.
I seek banter and camaraderie today.