The Damned My mind is not mine own. It is not something loan It is not something I rent The pastors yell "Repent" But I am a man who dose not believe. They turn to shun me "Then leave ". They say I am possessed . But at night I get plenty of rest. Maybe I am crazy. Or just lazy. The sight of blood gives me pleasure. I dream of flight of dark feathers. Perhaps I am a demon in human skin. I try to think of my sin. Is my existence a bane? if true I will totally go insane. For what reason was I born? The answer may shake me to my very core. An experiment for Satan's entertainment. Or a replacement for his retirement.

Death/Immortality Death is a darkness that swallows everything in sight. Man fights this with all their might. But humans are petty and they are weak. They kill each other for what they seek. Immortality is what the they adore. But I have what they're looking for. Being immortal is not what it's cracked up to be To suffer in silence while others pass on, you see. To endure unimaginable pain. For so little gain. Your loved ones will become the ashes of the earth. And soon you'll regret your own birth.

Ghost Girl The scent of roses on my grave. This time of night is what I crave. My body in the coffin is spinning around. Trying to break out to find love that was never found. I long to see your eyes that shine blue. My heart skips a beat when I think of you. Ch. 1 "Mr. Valentine , wake up this instant" someone barked in my ear. I lazily open my eyes and look at the decrepit old hag that is my teacher , Mrs. Hasoles . "Get up! You're not to sleep in my class !" I raise my head to find other noises like giggling and snorting. My classmates were laughing at me. Because I'm not popular , and I'm not rich , and I don't have nice things to show off , or have any skills that are praise worthy ; I'm lowest of the low in Fredrick Wellington high . My grades are almost on the border of below average . I hardly have any friends to speak of and I treated like everyone punching bag. So #life for me is just ... Great. " How many times do I have to not sleep in my class Mr. Valentine?" she said. Ugh she know I hate that name, Valentine. It's make me seem like one those guys who's weak ( which I am) and is a lover not a fighter. You think you can pull chicks with this name. Nope, dead wrong ; all get is being called lover boy and shot with plastic red arrows decorated in glitter. Cute. "Good morning Ms.Hasoles" I grumbly reply; all I want todo now is piss her off and by the look on her face I'm Succeeding. " It's the afternoon you Twit..." she spat, " and it's Mrs. Hasoles to you. " I had notices earlier but now other students where definitely getting away with somethings . Chatting , passing notes , texting , reading magazine ( could of sworn I saw a girl reveal her breasts in class to Mr.Popular. Ugh that guy is jerk, Lucky bastard. "I'm sorry Ms... I mean Mrs.Hasoles " I chided in. Who in their right mind would want to spend the rest of their #life with this ancient annoying ugly cavewoman. "All right , but if I catch you one more time I'm going send you to principle's office where she'll call your parents" she tells me . I act shocked like I'm going to get on knees and beg for forgiveness. She took a liking to this , thinking I'm worried squirming in my seat but I'm as calm as a monk surrounded by nothing but his monk friends and mother nature. Unbeknownst to her, Mrs.Hasoles doesn't know that my parents gave up on me a long time ago , they let me do what ever I want. It doesn't matter what I do , they don't get involved . All they do is feed me , clothed me , and sheltered me. But it's not as if they care. The reason they keep me is because of the government and because I'm 16. They can't wait till i turn 18 . The day I become a bum. Ms. Hasoles return to teaching today's lesson , everyone stopped laughing even though there giggles here there . The teacher continued with the boring subject ever ;history. I tuned it out daydreaming of a better #life, one with riches , fame , respect, and love. Yes love . As lonely as I am I feel need to be loved by others. The lesson goes on for what seems be an eternity but soon ends. Mrs.Hasoles begin to call out our names and they are called they leave. I hear some name s of people I absolutely loathe. Drake Lazaga , Mr. Popular , that bastard always has the nerve to pick on me . I would fight back but his flunkies are never far behind always there to oppress the less fortunate: me. There ten of them and the extremely buff for high school students and ( of course) they play every sport that included rough housing. There are ten of them and I'm no coward but I'm not stupid or suicidal either. There no chance in hell I'd be able win to a fight like that . I'd have to be Chuck Norris to do that. Next is Courtney Jackson , the girl who flashed Drake her boobs . She's Ms. Popular (and Ms.Slutty), she alway hanging around Drake flirting with him . It's like watching a dog drool over some large BBQ Ribs. She has most annoying laugh and she thinks she can sing; she like to country and rock song , both at which she's terrible at. She only popular because of her beautiful face. That's it , she also has a ugly personality , snobbish , very snobbish indeed. Next to leave was none other than Rosa Lazaga , she is just the most beautiful girl in the school. Unlike the last beautie and her asshole of a brother, she's a nice person . She one of the green people who do their part in cleaning the street of trash and stuff. She even helped me with my homework and she's the only reason I haven't been kicked(or dropped out) out of school . Bless her soul. I wish she was mine but, I know that there no way that'll happen besides she way to good for me. "Ack ... Zack" shouted Mrs. Hasoles .surprised, I jumped in my seat. " Oh shi-" I exclaimed . " No swearing in my class Mr. Valentine and what are you doing? Were you asleep again?" she asked . " No , I was just wasn't paying attention" I answered the rest of class that was still here giggled and smile , damn jerks. " Jesus Christ , you don't pay attention during or after my class . Al right it's your future , you may go... " she said. I get up and walk to door and hear her say " and do me a favor and don't show up for class next time" I walk through the door " Gladly" I reply Ch. 2 I'm walking up to my house and I see no cars park up front. Mom and Dad must not be home . Today is Friday , my parents are gone and I just want go to my room so i can put my feet up, snack on Root beer and chips, and play video games till I pass out. I unlocked the door to find dad sitting in the arm chair. He's watching ESPN . That dreaded football show that shows stats of all the players and stuff. Back in the day my dad was a all star high school quarterback. He wanted his sons and daughters to play and appreciate the sport. But he got me and my sister Jennessia . Its not that I don't play football or any sport at all that makes my dad mad. No its Jennessia who makes dad blow a gasket. She plays basketball ,soccer, tennis, and even hockey. The thing is she mocks the sport of football for some reason; says its only for stupid flea bitten monkeys who think their smart making plans and ramming into each other. I asked why she likes to play hockey but she just stood staring at me. I backed away slowly until I was out of sight. "Hey Sport, want to go out and play catch football or toss the the old baseball around?" dad asked . "No thanks dad . I've got some homework ( I'm not going to do it.) to do" I called back as head up the stairs to my room. It would be nice to get away from those two sports nuts. I had enough sports for a #lifetime thank you. Now it's time to relax and have some . I enter my room, now the first thing anyone would or should notice is the mess and difference how I keep some parts of my room clean. The home entertainment center with the DVDs , the CDs , the T.V are organized and completely cleaned ; not a single speck of dust. The I have my computer desk and my laptop the where I suppose to do my homework and a projects for school. I actually use it for just surfing YouTube and glorious websites. Research, my butt. Thanks to video games I have some friends but we never seen each other face to face. The online multiplayer option is what I love most about some video games. You get talk to some interesting peopled that share the ideals and experiences. I really love my PS5 and thank Sony a million for making it. I throw my backpack into a corner and grab my controller and turn it on. The sound it makes when turns on but this is not the sound I hear . " Tsk Tsk Tsk... aren't didn't you tell Dad that you have homework to do?" a female voice I recognized immediately. I turn around to find My sister , Jennessia leaning against my bedroom door. Her posture was cool and collected like she posed no threat to me what so ever. However her eyes said it all; that gleam in her eyes and the little small grin that is barely noticeable said that unless I did something I would be in trouble. "I get to it... eventually." I replied. She stood up straight and walk towards me in a cat like manner. "And what is keeping a little bird from telling Your little secret?" she whispered . "5 bucks?" I said hopefully. "Make it 10 bucks." she said. Damn I wish she would go lower but this a low as it would get ; if I even whined or complained she'd double the price in a instant. Reluctantly I dig in my back pocket for my wallet and take out a ten dollar bill . Ugh I was so close to get it too. I hand the dollar bill to Jennessia and watch watch the she-demon slip out my room. I exhale and sit down and begin playing my favorite game, Call of Duty Black Ops 4 . I'm in the in the middle of a multiplayer match when I hear the voice again. " I thought you weren't going to play that game anymore?" Jennessia asked. I turn around an there she was again . I turn back to screen and realized I died. Great. " What do you want now?" I glared at her . " Nothing ." she said casually. "Nothing!?" I repeated . "Nothing." So let get me get this straight. She came back in my room and bothered me for... Nothing . Absolutely nothing. I nominate Jennessia Valentine for butthole of the year . " Nothing, it's just that you playing this game again makes me think you want another stalker." Ch. 3 It's 12:30 and feel pretty tired so I'm going to bed. I throw my shirt off to floor and take of my belt and pant until I'm nothing but shorts. I climbed into bed and try to fall asleep. I can't help but stay half awake due to echo of Jennessia words in my mind. The word stalker makes me shuddered under the covers. A long time ago being stalked was the last thing that I ever thought happen to me. I was wrong. The flashes of the nightmare that came before. The creepy girl. The entire schools picking on me. The weird love letters. The sense that I'm being follow no matter where I go. The death. The stalker girl; she came from somewhere nearby , I don't know exactly where she lived. She and I where playing same game I was playing. The developers of the game thought it be fun to have a grand competition where all over the would meet in Las Vegas. The challenge was that being pair by a random partner the player must fight in two against two team death match and make to the top three pairs. The first place winners would would receive a brand new console of their choice and $50,000, second place receives just a console , third place gets two controllers and a game of third choice. I was in it to win. Naturally Stalker Girl was my partner but at the time she was known as Haley Hallowdale or THATshyGIRL27 . She had jet black hair that basicly almost covered her face and she wore a bracelet with spikes sticking out. She was completely dress in black except for the the Hello Kitty barrette in hair and pink and black socks. Before she even stalked me she creeped me out. She barely talked at all and she to avoid all forms of contact with me. That's fine with me. I started to wonder if there something wrong with me . I begged my parents to let compete after a few choirs , some parental pampering and sucking up , I was allowed to compete only if I win. If I lose would be $500 down the hole , console less and grounded for 6 months . With so to gain and lose I soared to top ten with Halley; who wasn't so bad her self. As we fought the remaining player for the top, Haley began to open up. She started to communicate if only a little. She must have gotten used to me since we've been together for hours. Her voice was like a mouse, so low that I had to get real close to even hear her . Naturally she always stepped back a little and held her hand to her throat , like she could hardly breath. I gave her a break from my presence and continued the competition. We had made to final round . She and I were against some other team. They were good; we barely won. We only won because of her . The score was 7500 to 7450. In that moment of almost loosing and becoming the family slave labour for six months and paying 500 dollars out of pocket . I panic and lost my confidence . Haley seemed noticed this weakness of mine and protected me at near death. We won and so close to being defeated it felt like was jumping over mountains. I could think straight , I instinctively thanked her by give her a bear hug and saying "I love you, man". That was the trigger. I said sorry for hugging her so suddenly and then big giant check came our way as confetti rain down on us. I was so happy and by the looks of it she was too. We were Laughing together accepting the prizes we had won. After that we went our separate ways. I enjoyed rubbing it in my family's face and the new console I won. It wasn't until three weeks later I saw her again in the neighborhood. She looked the same, same black attire, same black hair and hair style. Barely anything thing had change except her her purple shirt and black and purple socks. I said thanks again for the help but she barely said anything . Barely even looked me like I was ugly or something. I got out there and then I always felt like I was never alone; like someone was watching me. I just couldn't shake this feel. I didn't tell Mom or Dad but eventually my nosy sister figured something was up. I told her it was nothing. Then the unthinkable happened. She move to my school, in my classes, and sat very close to me. I asked Haley what was going on. As usual she was very silent. I asked Jennessia if it's a strange coincidence for some stranger to show up in your #life like that. Then she told me I had a stalker. Days, weeks, months; all these came to pass she was still following me. I going to lose mind if I saw her again, I mean what exactly does she want from me. I never got to find out when I ran to the store nearby and came back their we're police cars and an ambulance. I saw her , the body bag . It was too much . I over the police say it was a hit and run. She had been ran over. Trying to get that bad memory out of my head I try to think of something else. I watched T.V until 2:30 ; so shaman show, summoning the dead and what not. Feeling suffocated I walk to my window for fresh air . I stare in to the stars and notice how ridiculous it is to see this many stars. Ther were hundreds of stars in skies. There it was a shooting star. I aways wanted to see one as a kid. I started think what it be like to a shaman and control spirit and stuff. I'd use them for revenge and mess with people, that would be fun. " ok , I wish to have ghostly powers and whatnot." I said unto the night. Like that ever happen.

Ghost Girl #poem The scent of roses on my grave. This time of night is what I crave. My body in the casket is spinning around. Trying to break out to find love that was never found. I long to see your eyes that shine blue. My heart skips a beat when I think of you.