Festive Worry The Christmas Worry I sit in bed thinking, worrying, to be precise, About Christmas, and next year, hoping it will be nice, Remembering the way it used to be, happy, laughing, fun, Christmas to me now is depressing and I cannot wait until it's done, Money worries, kids away In some respect, I wish they'd stay, My time with hubby will be boring, During the day, I will be snoring, The laughter of the world will mock, The Christmas time fun, forgot, Just sat infront of the TV, Thinking, 'what will be, will be', Merry Christmas Everyone, Joyous times, presents done, Do not give heed to all you fear, For shortly comes a brand new year!

Internal Prison The eternal struggle I try and try and try to be, The best I can for you and me, To split myself down the middle, And navigate #life's long riddle, The pain I feel everyday, Manifests itself in a way, That no one but me can see, The frustration with what it should be, I love my children endlessly, And I love my man for the world to see, But the two can not see eye to eye, I am 'Steve the strongman' guy, Arms and emotions stretched, To the point where I feel so wretched, I hide my grief from prying eyes, Whilst all the times small parts die, One little piece at a time, My prison is in my mind.

Relentless Dream Relentless Dream Laying in the thick pitch black, Staring, thinking, on my back, A bear laying next to me, By the noise, it might as well be! The jumping and moaning in your sleep, The contents of which, to yourself you keep, On the outside, at arms reach I stay, At the beginning, middle and end of day, Two lives not so easily rolled into one, When the baggage from both sides has to come, The years tick by like hands of a clock, Outside, looking in, seems to mock, The cracks, the voids, they do appear, The feelings that then make you sneer, To be together for the rest of time, Seems to be a very drawn out line, With doubts and questions in my head, That nag at me, every night in bed.

Outside World Screaming, shouting, crying, wailing, I think I know my love is failing, Tensions in my house run high, No sight no sound to passers by, A rift divides us in this world, A cavernous size in days of old, My family and I reside on one side, On the other, the man I loved, just hides, No communication between the two, Just looks and feelings show through, The hurt on both sides is clear to see, But why, on earth, must it run through me? I am the piggy stuck in the middle, Trying to rearrange this muddle.

The Unwanted Another day is done and dusted, Yet why do I feel so flustered? I try my hardest, to be the best, Another task put to the test, I might be fat, gummy and ugly, People see me and think 'god, she's fugly!' But inside I am still a person too, Who needs to be loved through and through, I try my best for everyone Who thinks about me when the day is done? My husband who is meant to be, Blinkered as far as the eye can see, I know we say 'Look but don't touch', But sometimes a look can be too much, The sinking feeling in my tummy now, Makes me want to shout out loud, I am still a person too, Love me please, for I love you!